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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Hello everyone.. I will start with my unaffectionate side. I literally, ONLY show emotion to animals, I adore them, so much, I have 5 pets, I let my golden puppy jump all over me even if she's muddy I don't really care. I just love being around animals. I'm a cashier, if a kid is in someones cart or baby, I don't say hi or am interested, if a service dog is in the line I ask to pet it and give it a treat and it makes my day. People? I don't even like a handshake or hug. My mother is always saying "I showed you so much love and gave you so much attention and affection when you were little and growing up why can't you just hug me and do something nice?" I just CAN'T bring myself to do it.

Now with boyfriends? I've had one in my life, a 5 year on and off, he was my world when I met him at 15. He never complained about my unemotional and unaffectionateness, but he did cheat on me a lot, we had poor communication, just immature relationship. I am with someone new now, my second boyfriend in life and I'm 20. I CAN'T even bring myself to hold his hand or get off the couch and even kiss him on the cheek before I walk off. He is really getting fed up we've been dating almost 6 months.. And I'm so upset, I've never really been addressed by someone I realllly care about how basically ****** of a girlfriend I am. He never said it, sweetest guy ever and I feel he is what's good for me. I just can't give him the little things he wants like a cuddle up against him, we sit next to each other on the couch like friends because he gets fed up a lot and doesn't try as much. But when he hugs me or strokes my hair and is sweet I LOVE it so much..I just don't show I do because I'm a freakin robot!

The unemotional problem? This isn't okay. I stopped feeling that excited feeling like 7 months ago when my heart was broken for the last time. I never thought I could see my ex without feeling upset, I just saw him at a funeral a week ago and he came up to me, hugged me crying, I felt nothing, when before he was the only person I thought was meant for me.

This is a serious question. Should I go to some kind of therapy? I always feel like I'm on autopilot.. I'm upset how often my boyfriend says he's bummed and doesn't know if he can be with me if I don't start showing him even a little affection soon, I just CAN'T. I love him. I feel it. When I like someone I show affection other ways, making them food, doing their dishes before they get home from work, cleaning their place, buying them things, doing those things, but they don't get it. I have never initiated sex in the 6 months we've been together either, idk why but I can't and that's a biggg thing that upsets him. We only do it like twice a month too. I want to, I do, I want to initiate sex, or being affectionate, but I feel like I'm not allowed to..he doesn't get it. And he's almost fed up. It just makes me so mad and upset why I can't, only to animals, people I just can't. He sees me with my cats and dogs, petting and kissing my dogs and cats on the head, he's like "I'm so jealous of your cat.." Jokingly, but he means it a little

Please help I need some kind of advice.. I don't know what's wrong with me. Being in a relationship makes my life even more hard because even though my bf doesn't technically say it, I treat him like ****





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