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I am in a very very healthy long-term relationship with an amazing man, my best friend. I couldn't have asked for a better man.

Unfortunately, I have suffered from severe depression for about the past 6 years and until recently have I only felt able to try and start pursuing friendships and meet people.

There is one guy who is from my "social group" I suppose you could say and he initiated contact with me. He was very affirming of me, quite quickly became REALLY flirty and quite persistent. The strange thing is, he has a girlfriend and would keep telling me he wasn't trying to crack onto me, he is just a flirty type person. He would go on and on and on about if he wasn't with his girlfriend he would try to be with me etc etc
As I don't have much experience in this department and was just desperate for friends, I kept in contact but just tried to be careful not to flirt back.
We would talk on Facebook a fair bit and texting.

I think I started to become addicted to the contact and the affirmation. I don't know what happened, I started to really enjoy the attention. One day it was all under control and then the next day, when I noticed he had pulled back a bit, I freaked out.
I admit I struggle with low self-esteem and I started to enjoy having someone other than my partner tell me how incredible I am.
My partner is extremely affirming, but I am a bit insatiable when it comes to affirmation. In the past I've compromised myself just to feel valued.

I started to let my guard down, I told this guy that I was concerned I was enjoying it too much. He understood, but kept going.

Lately, the contact has started to drop off and he has been less initiative and "flirty" as before. But now I am left with this, almost addict like behaviour.
I am addicted to checking my phone to see if he has contacted me and I get really sad when I haven't received anything.
We still talk most days, but it is different. He is less persistent. He still seems interested in being friends though. But because he has in a sense "pulled back", I have compromised myself and flirted back a little just to try and get some kind of affirmation.

It might be hard to believe, but I don't want to be with this person in a relationship, I love my current partner.
I just somehow managed to get myself addicted to this person's affirmation of me. It is like he was my drug dealer and just decided to cut my dosage.

My partner knows about this, he's been very supportive.
He understands I am a bit of a broken soul just trying to get back on my feet (since the depression).


Why am I compromising myself like this for a quick feel good?

What's wrong with me?





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