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Relationship Health Message Board


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I didn't mean sexologist, I meant relationship or love therapist, turns out there's a BIG difference.


I went from therapist to therapist for a few years and none of them ever wanted to help me, they'd give me advice like "go join a club", and I could not find one and neither could the therapist. This is why I mentioned someone who specializes in some kind of relationship therapy, I want somebody that isn't so worried. When I mentioned this to my therapists they were not interested or comfortable in helping me. One who did exposure therapy regularly couldn't let me practice talking with a woman because of an issue with his wife. I eventually got most of my experience helping his wife with odd handyman jobs, in fact she was the first woman I ever got to have a normal conversation with.


I don't think my self esteem is low, it's just realistic thinking, most people have better lives than me, and have more fun. I am nice, but women don't like nice because it's boring, I'm not saying they like mean guys, they like guys that are in between.


You are right about women picking up on something because of my experience speed dating. In speed dating you're introduced to several women for 8 minutes, in that time you have to state your case for what you can do better than the other men there. Pretty much as soon as they asked about my job or money, I was marked off their list, they did not like poor men. None of the women like me at all, most marked me as "least desirable" even though I tried as hard as i could to be what they wanted. This is when I realized that it is extremely hard to attract women. But i want to give it one more go with a top notch therapist who specializes in relationships.


I still wonder why in this age where women are so much more powerful than past generations, they still wait for guys to come along. If they like a guy how come they can't just ask him out?



Thanks for your help.



[QUOTE=Seraph;5230854]A therapist would be useful. Forget the sexologist for the moment - you have a long way to go before that. You must remove the sign "I am worthless" from around your neck. If you believe that you are so unloveable, then everyone else will pick up on that also. So start with baby steps, and build yourself a bit of positive self esteem with the aid of a skilled therapist.
The assumptions you make about the world are very limiting, almost like you are tossing life into the too-hard basket and giving yourself permission to not take any risks. Having said that, it is hard out there and you need to have skills and ego enough to navigate it successfully. Find a therapist and start a journey. Even if you don't find a permanent partner, life will still be a lot more satisfying if you actually like yourself and your own company. Sera[/QUOTE]





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