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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I'm just laying here reading some of these posts and there are so many people out there like me but you would never know. We all walk around with these masks on pretending to be ok. I often I ever going to be ok?? I am married to a good guy but have so many financial problems....I feel like it's just never going to end. We have 3 children 14 ,18, and 20. I feel like so much has happened in our 22 years together....started off great...after about 11 years of marriage it just has never been the same. We just keep getting further in debt and he just doesn't talk about our finances which I get so upset about....but above all else we hit a wall at our 11 year mark. At that time my old boss was coming around and visited me several times. Well at that time my husband started acting out sexually with me telling me he thought it would be such a turn on for me to be with this man. I can tell you I have just never been the same. Long story short yes I ended up having an affair with him. Not the kind people conger up in their heads...but a deep emotional affair. No sex just alot of hugging and yes kissing but it was never this sexual thing. To this day he calls me his one absolute love. I find that I am connected with this man on such a different level than real life. Yes he would of loved us to be together but you can't just break up families like that. I am also going to throw in that I found out that my husband was with men in he past(before we met) which he says it was just a thing....ok....well I'm your wife and now have to deal with that too....your perfectly fine with your wife being with another man and you've been with men yourself in the past. Yes, I'm feeling not very complete anymore. But stuck. Financially...he has a good job and I have to figure out what I'm going to do to make a better income ( the stress of our finances I feel is just choking me) I was working but we've moved recently and I'm under pressure to figure that out...anyway alot of stuff going on in the background too...I have to take care of my mother at some point soon. She is supposed to come live with us. My husband is ok with it..I think. Anyway....I'm exhausted and I find myself just spiraling down....I have of course backed away from most of my friends.....who really wants to hear this crap?? I just feel like I'm not good enough for my husband...everybody. Ok...thanks for listening if it made sense to anyone....I know I'm all over the place

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