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Hello Again kewlgirl,

I'm going to try to repeat thoughts from an earlier post that I lost into "space" somehow.

No, sweetie...I'm NOT going to tell you to leave...YET. I would first have to ask you if you even have the desire to "save" this relationship? Often the psychological damage is irreversible to the partner in your position. If your answer is "yes", then several things must occur...sooner rather than later. It is painfully obvious that you are "beaten down" by the endless verbal abuse of a SICK man.

I wish I could reach through cyberspace to hug and comfort you...to tell you everything's going to be okay. I CANNOT because it isn't, without major changes. I am most concerned for your safety. I want to know that you and your son are safe. Your husband's manic rages can easily turn physical upon both you and your son...if they haven't already crossed that line.

YOU NEED SUPPORT...whether through your pastor, a counselor (try your local life help center for an emergency appointment) family members or even through law enforcement if you have no one else. HIS family is enabling him if indeed he is speaking ill of you in their presence. THEY should not allow their son to abuse his wife. Where's his father in this picture?

Your husband's "bipolar" issues can definitely be treated through intense therapy (perhaps inpatient?) and through monitored medication. His illness is NO EXCUSE. You do not deserve to be his "punching bag". I would first align some physical/emotional support (do not act alone...he sounds dangerous). I would give him the ultimatum of getting the help he needs NOW or plan the escape of you and your little boy.

Your safety is PARAMOUNT, sweetie. As I said before, it seems as though he himself feels insecure and therefore is projecting his own issues onto you. He's not a victim. He's a volunteer if he refuses to get the help he needs to change his behavior. There are many medications that treat and manage bipolar, allowing those who suffer to lead a full and productive life. IF he chooses to wallow in self pity and spew hatred onto you (and it is a choice) then you need to move on with your life.

YOU deserve better. YOUR BABY deserves better. Your life is challenging enough with your special needs child. Add the burden of having to leave him every day to be the SOLE PROVIDER for your family, and your cup runs over. You are KIND. You are SMART. You are IMPORTANT. These are words from a movie, but they describe you, Darling.

I pray for tremendous strength within you to demand better, not worse.





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