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Aiden, I totally get what you're saying. I think it's very possible that, at least on her part she just wants to be friends with him and in her very naive mind she believes its possible to just be friends with him. However, I'm like you, I don't trust this guy any farther than I could throw him. I strongly believe that he is up to no good because he has made it repeatedly clear to her that he wants to be her boyfriend again.

So here's the big question: can she be trusted to not give in to any of his lame attempts at getting her back? I don't know her so I can't answer that. I do know many women, myself included who, when in a relationship with a great guy, the thought of anyone else (especially an ex) is repulsive and morally reprehensible. Is your girl one of us? I don't know. But my suggestion to you is that you sit her down for a come to Jesus meeting sometime soon before she has that lunch date with him. Without being accusatory and angry, start out by saying that you're really feeling positive about the changes that you have both made since getting back together. And that you would really like to see this new trend of openness and honesty to continue because it makes the relationship feel more solid and grounded when things are on the level. Then you can say that you realize the she has a past with this guy and you're not asking her for too much here, you would just like her to respect your feelings wJen it comes to her interactions with him. Ask her to put herself in your shoes for a minute and try to think of how she would feel if you were the one with an old flame who you talked to all the time and insisted on spending so much time on while she had to sit back and just deal with it. Tell her to think anout it honestly and ask her, if she were in your shoes, how would she see it play out. Because I think she needs to do that in order for her to understand where you're coming from.

Again, this can't be an angry and accusatory conversation, it just needs to be matter of fact and working toward a mutually agreeable solution. I think for both of you, this talk needs to happen or else the resentment will start to build again on your side and its just going to fall apart again.
[QUOTE=Kszan;5256180]Aiden, I totally get what you're saying. I think it's very possible that, at least on her part she just wants to be friends with him and in her very naive mind she believes its possible to just be friends with him. However, I'm like you, I don't trust this guy any farther than I could throw him. I strongly believe that he is up to no good because he has made it repeatedly clear to her that he wants to be her boyfriend again.

So here's the big question: can she be trusted to not give in to any of his lame attempts at getting her back? I don't know her so I can't answer that. I do know many women, myself included who, when in a relationship with a great guy, the thought of anyone else (especially an ex) is repulsive and morally reprehensible. Is your girl one of us? I don't know. But my suggestion to you is that you sit her down for a come to Jesus meeting sometime soon before she has that lunch date with him. Without being accusatory and angry, start out by saying that you're really feeling positive about the changes that you have both made since getting back together. And that you would really like to see this new trend of openness and honesty to continue because it makes the relationship feel more solid and grounded when things are on the level. Then you can say that you realize the she has a past with this guy and you're not asking her for too much here, you would just like her to respect your feelings wJen it comes to her interactions with him. Ask her to put herself in your shoes for a minute and try to think of how she would feel if you were the one with an old flame who you talked to all the time and insisted on spending so much time on while she had to sit back and just deal with it. Tell her to think anout it honestly and ask her, if she were in your shoes, how would she see it play out. Because I think she needs to do that in order for her to understand where you're coming from.

Again, this can't be an angry and accusatory conversation, it just needs to be matter of fact and working toward a mutually agreeable solution. I think for both of you, this talk needs to happen or else the resentment will start to build again on your side and its just going to fall apart again.[/QUOTE]

Thank you for the great advice. I talked to her today about it, and had a conversation similar to what you advised me. She told me that she is in control of the situation, and that she would not let him go through with making any moves.. She has no desire to end our relationship and would not do anything on her part to mess it up, she knows that we would be over if there was any cheating between us. She was hurt, though, when I brought it up, because she believes that I think she would give in to his attempts. This made her upset, but she still made it known that she has no foul intentions.
Thoughts?





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