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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hey peoples,

This seemed like a great place to vent out some of the problems and feelings I've been having lately.
From the beginning of this relationship I knew there were going to be issues with his family this is all mainly his parents.

Me and my boyfriend (going on 4 years.) have been having issues with money, bills and wanting to find a new home that would help us save money for a car and his schooling. I have just gotten laid off and have been searching for another job like crazy, but that doesn't seem enough. Yes I was trying to search for another home a bit more before going homeless or having to come here. With that our lease is ending At the end of this month and still haven't found a place yet... but every house or apartment I wanted to look at or consider would be a good pick, was in the wrong area of town, not big enough, to much, to cheap, or there was always something wrong with it in his dads eyes. So I decided to be nice and involve his dad into our house/apartment searching and try to see if we would be able to find a place to his liking, and closer to them and school.
Yea...bad idea...
Every place we looked at, he had to ask a million questions, who?, what?, where?, when?, why?.... A billion times over. kind of starting to think that's why the nice place we really liked won't answer or return our phone calls.

Don't get that I'm ungrateful, but I can only stand this type of negativity so long... His family was kind enough to take us in and help move things into a storage shed... (I've only been here for 5 days and ready to shoot myself or just get up and leave), his stuff was welcomed into the house no questions asked or nasty remarks... Mine was only to go, clothes and all, to a shed, I only have the clothes that were on my back, and few things I managed to sneak into my purse and my bfs backpack, which was basically a pair of pj pants and my bath stuff. everything went into this tiny shed with a snotty, rude, and nasty remark on every box and all, such as "why do you need that" "god that's hideous" that looks stupid" "why did you do that" "what's this stupid thing" ... And many other things were broken, or torn apart because they were in such a hurry to get back home to their computers. Now I have no dresser or kitchen table, many other things they wanted left behind because I supposedly didn't need them, like my bed and headboard, washer, and dryer... Other things they didn't give me time to pack up and grab, Many of those things very personal. (but believe me I'm going to get those back.) Then in the middle of moving his mother made a remark about my mom, that just about made me want to flip my lid and smack the crap out of her.

I'm seriously at my limit, since being here they refuse to let me use the computer to house or apartment search, let alone job search, practically sleep on the floor, (me and my bf are barely allowed to even look at each other) so of course he's in the basement on a comfy bed, I'm sleeping on an air mattress that's flat practically the moment I lay on it, and they are so OCD about everything the second we walk thru the door, "take your shoes off" "get in the shower" "why is one gallon of milk on the top shelf and another gallon on the bottom?" Hell anybody farts all hell breaks loose, thousands of fans get turned on, spray everywhere, smell or not.

I like to let my bf dress the way he wants and do what he wants, cause I know his parents are super hard on everyone about looks and everything, I like to relax and feel like I can look however I want if I have nothing to do this or that day, if we're going out in public, then yes we have to comb our hair and look good. We do that here, "God go comb your hair you look homeless" or "stupid." "why do you let him look like that?" "what kind of bad habits have you gotten him into?" Just nothing but negative things all the time.

And Everything that has gone wrong seems to be my fault, and their just making me feel worse about myself. I take too long of showers or baths. (excuse me for liking to relax in hot water and that seems to be the only place I can relax anywhere but here), I don't sleep in late enough, (so freaking what, I'm used to waking up early, can't sleep anymore anyways) I don't eat enough, (I'm not used to such big meals) heck I can't even use the microwave or watch tv right, haven't been able to sleep or eat much since being laid off and it's gotten worse since coming here. Everytime I start eating I'm practically full by the fourth bite, but try to force my whole plate down anyways, then start feeling sick afterwards. I'm just to stressed, I feel so awkward and out of place here.

Then with my family, it's just me, my younger sister who is a teenager and already experimenting with everything and anything (I've tried saying things and helping her, but always got smacked on the hand for it, so kinda gave up on my helping her), and my mother which is in no better position, but I think is a great single mother and did her best say teaching me everything she knew. I try not talking about them much to his family, because I feel it's just brings more negative looks on my life, but atleast my mother doesn't judge anybody, or make snotty remarks about how a person looks, lives, eats or focus on how many times they shower in a day.

Lately just been thinking I'm better off alone then with this over the top negative drama in my life. But have tried to figure out where I would go and how it would make him feel, they have threatened to disown him if he didn't break it off or left to be with me, twice. Yet here I am now.
But starting to wonder if this is worth a life time and ring... Which hasn't really been considered from him, wondering if I'm wasting my life away, waiting for that ring. He says he loves me but I'm just starting to question it.

We were only suppose to be here a couple days, been trying really hard to get ahold of a house that I thought we really liked... But still in this hell hole... Debating on just starting to look by myself... And start anew... I love him so much, and hate to even be thinking about a life without him, but I just can't take his parents negative lifestyle anymore, and I really don't want my future kids, if I have any, to have any kind of family inlaw's or not spreading this kind of lifestyle on them.


I'm tired of feeling like crap.
I'm tired of not being good enough.
I'm tired of trying to impress these people that clearly have nothing good to say about anyone or anything.
I'm tired of pretending none of these rude remarks affect me.
I'm tired of pretending his dads remarks are funny when their not.
I'm tired of not feeling so well and at my best.
I'm tired of acting like I'm so very happy when I'm clearly not.
Most of all I'm just tired of being tired.

Just want some advice...

Ok vent closed.





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