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Angry boyfriend
Oct 2, 2014
My boyfriend who I've been with for almost 2 years is increasingly getting angry. He seems so hateful towards everyone, he says things like "I hate everyone" and when he sees another guy flipping him off he says "I could snap his neck". His language is filled with vulgar words and obscenities. My boyfriend is a big guy, he goes gym a lot so there's no doubt about if he could snap necks or not. I feel like he needs to prove it though? He's the type of guy who doesn't show or even understand affection or romance. At the start I was pretty upset about this but I've gotten use to him unable to show love. But now it's gotten to the point when all he does is show me hate. Any little thing I say could tick him off. I could be joking, having a good laugh and then suddenly he gets so serious and starts accusing me of things I don't see the point of arguing about. He says really hurtful things to me like "This is why I didn't want a girlfriend", "Alright you know what next time I blanket-blank promise you I'm going to do something". He always shouts and gets so hyped up and angry. He snaps at his family, he left all his mates because they've put him off. Don't get me wrong, apart from the anger stuff he treats me good. I know he would never physically hurt me. But emotionally? It kills me. We're fighting so often now over nothing. I would say one word, and he will hold that word against me. He would change the meaning of what I say and just make it out like it's my fault. I go to sleep crying and he turns to me and tells me to shut up. I told him we need to communicate better and he says I rather just not communicate with you at all. He gives me aggression and hate when all I need is softness, kindness and love. I'm so close to giving up and walking away. But I just need to know if there's a way to handle this? I'm so desperate for help. I just want us to be happy. Leaving him would be the last resort, I want to know a way to help him. He also refuses to get help, he knows he's angry and it's like he proud of being so angry and hateful.
It sounds like he is on steroids. Whether or not he is, there is no way to "handle" this. Why waste years of your life with someone who treats you so badly? I really think you would be far better off without this situation. Sera
You've done the right thing talking to him and asking him to get help, considering he refused I think the best thing for you would be to leave him, I'm sorry to say this, but he does seem like an horrible person, remember that abuse is not just physical, psychological abuse can be as, if not more damaging than physical abuse.

I praise you for trying to fix this relantionship, but a relantionship is a partnership, so in order to fix it you need both parties to be engaged in it, this is not your case, so I honestly think you should leave him.
Unfortunately there's nothing you can do to make him change his abusive behavior toward you. He is most likely taking steroids, which have increased his testosterone to dangerous levels which have promoted over aggressive behavior. You posted several examples of quotes from things he has said that make it pretty clear that he doesn't even want a girlfriend so I don't think you should stick around for the next time that he flips a switch and starts mentally and verbally abusing you again. You say that he would never hurt you physically but they all say that until he does and by then you'll be so mentally beaten down by his words that you won't be able to leave.

I'll never understand girls who insist that they don't want to break up when it's clear that the relationship is no longer healthy and staying means eventual deep psychological damage. There is no guy out there worth that kind of outcome, especially some roid raging lunatic like your boyfriend. Frankly he sounds like an insecure loser who uses bullying to intimidate people because it's the only way to make himself feel better about what a loser he is. That's very dangerous for you to stay with him because he will snap one day and slam you against a wall or punch you in the face or kick you down the stairs. Or worse. You're much better off leaving now while you're still coherent and able to make that decision.
time to make him your Angry ex-boyfriend......
the only thing you are doing wrong is staying in this relationship and putting up with his toxic attitude!

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