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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I've been in a very happy relationship for two and a half years (he's my best friend - we're constantly laughing and never boring), but once in a while I find myself thinking about a past fling.

About the fling: In highschool we were good friends, but both dating other people and I had feelings for him all through high school. We used to tease eachother quite a bit. After high school, I moved to a bigger city and when he visited we hit it off romantically. Since we were living in different cities, we 'got together' whenever we were near each other and it was amazing. We developed some emotions, too. One time he told me he loved me during the act, which I pretended I didn't hear, and he told me we should date if we're ever living in the same place which I agreed to.

Then, I met my now boyfriend! We met working at a summer camp for people with disabilities so right there you can get an idea of the type of person he is. Seeing him take care of people and it coming so naturally to him is part of what made me fall for him. He's sweet, caring, really funny.. only he was a football player in high school so he's also a mans man. We've been together almost 3 years and he treats me like gold.

He was away for six months near the beginning of our relationship and we talked every single day. When I was down in the smaller city, old fling contacted me and wanted to meet for a friendly coffee which I agreed to, but he told me his little brother was working on a film project and asked if I would help with that instead. So, when I got to his house I met his dad who said 'this is the girl you were telling me about', had dinner with his family, and helped with the film project. When it ended, his brother went inside and I helped him edit. We were sitting next to each other on the couch and my heart was beating out of my chest and I couldn't help but wish I could kiss him. All of a sudden he turned to me and asked 'can I kiss you?'. I just looked at him, shocked, and explained no because I was in a relationship. He said that he noticed me looking at his lips and that he wished we could just have one last kiss. In a weak moment, I said 'just one last one'. We kissed for about 15 seconds and I pushed him away feeling immediate guilt. He apologized, told me I should do what's right and be happy/get married and have children... I asked him to drive me home. Immediately when I got home I phoned my boyfriend and told him what had happened and apologized. He was surprisingly understanding and forgiving which is another reason why he is so wonderful.

Almost two years later, we're together and happy. We've been having some sex issues which may have something to do with it... I've had a low libido for about a year, and now and then I cant help but think back to my old fling and just wonder what might have happened if I chose the other option. For about a year, we've been discussing getting married and I used to be SO on the same page, but lately I've been wondering if maybe I'm missing something... I'm 22 now and we wouldn't be getting married for another 4-5 years. I love him and have a lot of fun with him, and we're very happy, but part of me is torn... help?





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