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Relationship Health Board Index
Pages: 1Showing 1 - 19 of 19 for bad coversation. (0.003 seconds)

... I keep thinking..Hmm...Maybe if I DO spend some more time with her, it will be ok... But spending time with her is SO bad for ME!! I mean, she keeps enforcing examples of what she believes the "mother daughter" relationship SHOULD be, and she KNOWS other people have it... ... (13 replies)
... You don't need that in your life, no matter who it's coming from. It took me a long time to realize that. I'm not a bad person, therefore, I don't deserve to be treated that way. ... (13 replies)
... Well, as hard as it is, you have to do something. I understand you had an opportunity to leave and you didn't. I understand that your husband is frustrated. I understand the situation is not easy. There's no quick, easy, perfect fix, but, really you have focus on what is healthy for YOU, not for your mother. First of all, you simply have to limit contact with your mother... (13 replies)

... I feel bad I just drag my husband with me on all this... Sometimes I think he is better off without me... ... (13 replies)
... t because I pushed him, I screwed us up... He turned down the promotion. Two weeks later, I got calls for 3 interviews. Can you hear me kicking myself for a very bad decision? ... (13 replies)
... lanned. Set off her trigger. She is like "I dont want ANYTHING from you!!! Dont spend anything on me! I just want you to come spend a few days with me. Dont be a bad daughter. We are miserable cause of you!" And THAT would make me want to go over right? ... (13 replies)
... Hi again, Thanks for the advice.. Let me ask you, do you think moving away is the answer?? Also, do you have any experience with a toxic parent?? You seem like you do... (13 replies)
... You are so right Tigerlilly...But how do I even approach moving away again with my husband, especially with me blowing the opportunity about two months ago due to my own fears?? Now what do I tell him? Hey, now lets both look for jobs far away and move because I cant handle it... He would be SOOOOO MADDD after the "move/not to more ordeal" I put him through two months... (13 replies)
... There is nothing you can do to change your Mom. She is not a rational person because of her personality disorder, and it just so happens she has one of the most difficult personality disorders to treat. So, unless SHE gets help and WORKS really hard at changing and getting better, all of this crap you are taking is going to continue. And who pays the dearest price? YOU do. As... (13 replies)
... Sorry, I didn't get that she did not know about your therapy. I say read that book quickly. And, I like the idea I read in another thread of putting distance between you two, if that would help. Your father is probably an enabler, so it might not go so well. wb (13 replies)
... Yes, my therapist gave me that book. Its pretty good. If she even knows I am in therapy it will be more drama... Her starting with the "Your blaming me" crap... Nothing works with her.... (13 replies)
... I'm saying that you might want to speak with your therapist to get her to come under a pretext that it is to discuss you and your "problems." Otherwise, read that book that follows logically from the "Eggshells..." book and begin setting boundaries with her. The sooner you do that and become solid in your methods, the sooner you will be better off for it. wb (13 replies)
... Whacked, that will NEVER happen... In my culture, you only go to psychiatrists and therapists if u are nuts. That is the perception... When my mom knew I was seeing a therapist a few years ago, she just said "Oh the therapist is turning you against me." So she would never go, nor would she believe that there is anything wrong with her..Setting boundaries with her doesnt... (13 replies)
... Sahuja- Might want to see about having your therapist having your mom come in to talk about you, but instead to help deal with her. I know it's downright false advertising, but we know the worst thing that a non-professional can do is tell someone who has BPD "Hey, you have BPD." Based on some things I've read, you're going to have to take the bull by the horns and get... (13 replies)
... I dont know what else to say to you...but I really feel bad about this... ... (4 replies)
... because of my exhusband being in a bad position and him wanting to attempt to help him. When I last posted about this I was leaving all communication between R and my father. ... (2 replies)
... e messed up and wants me to forgive him, however doesn't blame me if I don't. Like I said before this isnt something we will be able to get through with just one coversation because it is going to be in the front of my head, constantly for a while. ... (14 replies)
... Well yesterday she again took her frustration out at me, and that made me a little mad. Later in the evening we just had a text message coversation and i asked her to answer this question right when she sees this, and no dancing around the question either, does she value me and our relationship. ... (18 replies)
... rt out over how I felt about her when I called her. I simply couldn't let this pass by me without me knowing what it is she is thinking about me. We had a long coversation about why she wasn't being close to me and I wanted to know how she felt between us. She was totally honest and she told me what she thought of me. ... (81 replies)

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