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Schizophrenia Message Board


Schizophrenia Board Index


Hey :)

Sorry if there are some mistakes. I'm not fluent in english ^-^

Recently I was in a psychiatric hospital for two months. I've been diagnosed with clinical depression (recurrence), anxiety, OCD and avoidant + dependent personality disorder.

But right now I'm still kinda worrying about wether I've got schizophrenia or not.

I told the doctors in the hospital about the symptoms I've experienced in the past but they said that they think that I experienced this because of my depression.

My aunt has schizophrenia so it runs in my family. I should probably also tell you that my uncle also had some kind of problems (alcohol and drug addiction).

A few years ago I was home alone and suddenly there was a really loud BANG against the door (of the room I was in). It was so realistic and I panicked but nobody was there and there wasn't any logical explanation.

And a few months ago some weird things happened. It felt like an episode.
It felt like bugs were crawling on my legs (sometimes on my arms) but there wasn't anything.

During that time I've also been paranpoid about some things.
When there was a plane flying above our house I always thought *that plane is gonna crash into my house*. And when my dad had an accident the police called my mom and when I noticed that my mom was talking to the police I immediately thought *omg the police is calling because of me. They are gonna arrest me.* (even though I didn't do anything bad).

Sometimes I was afraid of photographs of people because it felt like they were watching me and I was afraid that they were gonna move.
When I wanted to take a pill (just for my hair) I thought that it was poisonous just because two words of the package were overlapping.
At some point some rooms and even my parents looked kinda different.

When I'm in public I always think something like *oh that person thinks (negative thing) about me* when people walk past me or even if cars drive past me.

I'm often talking fast and loud.

And during that period of time I often forgot words for example dishwasher and then I said machine wash thing.

When I was having a conversation with someone I suddenly totally forgot what we were talking about (like my brain was empty). I also can't really concentrate (sometimes I couldn't even read a book).

I also reacted inappropriately to sad news. For exmaple: I told my mom about people who died in an accident and I kinda smiled a bit (even though I knew that it wasn't funny) and my mom even said to me "That's not funny.".

When I was hearing music I often thought that my mom was talking to me even though she wasn't.

Sometimes I thought that there was a spider on the wall but when I looked again there was no spider.

At some point I saw a dead body laying on the floor for a second (that happened twice) and I also some kitchen tools looked like a cut off head for a second.

Noises were and are still very annoying to me. Especially the ones that aren't loud. They seem to be getting louder and louder and I'm starting to get angry and feel like I could freak out any second (I would never hurt anybody though).

When these things happened I told my psychiatrist about it and she said that she doesn't think that I got schizophrenia because I realize that these things are weird. But then she prescribed me Risperdal at the same day and when I got home I googled it and read that it is used to treat schizophrenia. Maybe she just wanted to try if it works idk? Well I was taking Prozac and this Risperdal and I started to feel better really fast. But I had to stop taking it because of the side effects. Since then I didn't experience things like that anymore.

But a few days ago I woke up and it felt like I was drunk (even though I didn't drink alcohol) and I was feeling very very anxious without a reason.

Now I'm really afraid that these things are going to happen again.

I know the psychiatrist said that she doesn't think that I got schizophrenia but maybe she is wrong? I mean if it runs in my family I got a higher chance of having it...

If you got schizophrenia or know much about it please message me and tell me about your first symptoms.

Thank you :)





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