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Hi cookie, thanks for replying. I too think I have OCD in addition to BP. My pnurse has not dxed it yet, but she did start me on Prozac this week, we will see how it works. If you do not mind, how does your OCD affect you? With me, its ALL about germs. Thanks alot. I really hope we can chat sometime.

Hugs,

Lauren










QUOTE=crookiemonster]Hi,
That's a good question. I not only suffer with a bipolar schizophrenia, (schizoaffective), but with obsessive compulsive disorder too. I still have returning familiar but unreal memories of my past that couldnt possibly have existed. It's too scary for me, and Ive been on meds for 2 years. I remember things of my past that when I look really hard at, I know they couldnt have been real, and I even ask peoplwho could confirm them, and they dont remember the scenarios, and they are so serious memories, that if no one remembers them like they should as something that would really stand out, then it couldnt have happened.
Its like a traumatic memory is resurfacing, and no one seems to remember it but me. and it makes me anxious...because I dont really remember it, it's like a dream or you could say its very vague. I was worse than this 2 years ago, and still it comes and goes, and I fall sucker to it every time, wasting time thinking about it and trying to see if it's true.....It's hard to let go, and I feal darkness and death all around at major paranoid times. It's intense.... and I come back from it every time.... but I just dont know....... You know what I mean..... im really screwed up. It's a childhood romance tragedy thing that seems to come to haunt me. It's about a girlfriends death when I was 9 years old. I dont remember that time too well, but the memory seems right but it just doesnt make sense. And that is the left over from my psychosis.
You have to push it to the side and carry on.... its just a phantom memory of a delusion. Be brave, with the meds, you'll see, you can conquer your fear. Pretend you are the only person in the world who can eat posion food. you'll see, you'll get used to it.
I hope I made sense, (im certain I didnt, but at least youre not alone in this kinda stuff.)
sorry if I made your life worse by opening my mouth. Im not really sure of myself these days.... You know, being wierd and all.[/QUOTE]
Hi Lauren,
Yeah, the germ thing if you wash your hands like a billion times a day, till they are raw, (the tell tale sign is how many towels you go through), then you got ocd. I can recommend a book called "brain lock" written by an MD. You'll find a really good CBT method (cognitive behavioral therapy method) in it, and an excellent description of ocd and its workings. If you are like me you are experiencing these intruding worries, and doing things to feel better about them, to feel safe, to releive the anxiety. As for schizoaffective disorder (bi-polar schizophrenia) you will be experiencing discomforting ups and downs, almost eurphoric highs, and sometimes desparaging despair, and the really fun stuff (sarcasm) the freaky delusions and wierd thinking that messes up your reality. It's a long tough haul, but promise me you'll have a positve attitude and courage like king arthur, and most importantly perservearance. Faith doesnt hurt too. Yeah we can chat...... Id like to. james....................








QUOTE=crookiemonster]Hi,
That's a good question. I not only suffer with a bipolar schizophrenia, (schizoaffective), but with obsessive compulsive disorder too. I still have returning familiar but unreal memories of my past that couldnt possibly have existed. It's too scary for me, and Ive been on meds for 2 years. I remember things of my past that when I look really hard at, I know they couldnt have been real, and I even ask peoplwho could confirm them, and they dont remember the scenarios, and they are so serious memories, that if no one remembers them like they should as something that would really stand out, then it couldnt have happened.
Its like a traumatic memory is resurfacing, and no one seems to remember it but me. and it makes me anxious...because I dont really remember it, it's like a dream or you could say its very vague. I was worse than this 2 years ago, and still it comes and goes, and I fall sucker to it every time, wasting time thinking about it and trying to see if it's true.....It's hard to let go, and I feal darkness and death all around at major paranoid times. It's intense.... and I come back from it every time.... but I just dont know....... You know what I mean..... im really screwed up. It's a childhood romance tragedy thing that seems to come to haunt me. It's about a girlfriends death when I was 9 years old. I dont remember that time too well, but the memory seems right but it just doesnt make sense. And that is the left over from my psychosis.
You have to push it to the side and carry on.... its just a phantom memory of a delusion. Be brave, with the meds, you'll see, you can conquer your fear. Pretend you are the only person in the world who can eat posion food. you'll see, you'll get used to it.
I hope I made sense, (im certain I didnt, but at least youre not alone in this kinda stuff.)
sorry if I made your life worse by opening my mouth. Im not really sure of myself these days.... You know, being wierd and all.[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]





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