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Schizophrenia Message Board

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Okay My therapist has put me on efexxor 150mg a day along with seroquel 300-600mg a day.I have always been paranoid but I have recently(1year) been affected by it like I am .I haven't told my therapist that I see things that are violent.I am scared she will lock me away.I don't like these feelings but they are there.I refuse to take my seroquel because I feel like it makes me crazy.I feel like she has misdiagnosed me and if I take the medication it will make me worse.In my rational mind when I do take seroquel it helps me significantly.I constantly argue with myself on taking it.I believe that I have HIV despite several negative tests I Believe I have this disease....I live my life as though I have it.I have hallucinations visual.Now I have had and have some voices mainly people screaming in my ear to shut up and sit down.I have heard footsteps on the stairs.When I was at work I was standing near a group of co workers and there was a sheriff there and he has his truck parked there I had a vision of running to his truck and grabbing his gun and shooting everyone around me.I could see it as if it was happening.These visions scare me terribly.The other reason I don't take seroquel is because it sedates me so bad I sleep all day...I have children and I also work so sleeping is not an option....My husband hates that I get on here and talk to people he thinks it makes it worse but I have no ONE to talk to about it no one understands me.I also have a severe case of OCD. People always tell me to get over it...Like I can or something.Please someone write back just to let me know I am not alone on this please>>I am surrounded by sane people I feel so alone here.....Thanks Lonely :rolleyes:

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