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Schizophrenia Message Board


Schizophrenia Board Index


[quote]I am sad and lonley and I don't have a boyfriend. In fact I am 27 and have never had a boyfriend. When I go to parties I find myself sitting alone and not being able to talk to people I can't think of any words to say and people must think I am sooo boring. I put on 3 stone with my medication so now I am fat too. I read that schizophrenia has negative symptoms which make people withdrawn from other people but I need people around.
Thankyou for your time.[/quote]

No I think our culture breeds boredom (addiction to stimulation) and with all the intellectualism going around people feel they need to "know" stuff or some deep insight in order to have a meaningful conversation.

There are so many people around that seeking solitude, atleast for me, I consider perfectly normal behavior and calling it "withdrawn" or "withdrawing" is the only negative thing about it.
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The neuroleptic "medications" that schizophrenics take can make it hard to think, read, or follow a typical conversation or find it enjoyable. Of course, all of this is attributed to the "disease".

I read an article in national geographic about an african tribe an anthropologist was studying. When asked what they thought about the anthropologist they said "White people talk too much". I THINK THIS IS TRUE!! Dare I say it. I think the amount of talking we (westernized, "civilized" people) do is unnatural. I hate typical conversations, personally. I do not think that talking is how we get to know people, or know ourselves. I believe we get to know people through physical contact and [i]doing[/i] things. I believe talking about ourselves and talking to others about themselves is unnatural, and something we learn to "enjoy" and some of us never really learn to enjoy it. I am female, btw, and I believe that females enjoying "conversation" is a myth. I am not arguing that females talk a lot, but I think the narcissism, self involvement, "girl talk", and self indulgence pushed on females in our culture is what leads to our overall "unhappiness". Anyway, if meeting people is what you want, there are many ways to meet people. I do not think that "parties" are a good way to meet people. Who wants to start up a "conversation" with a perfectly drunk stranger, whom you have no predictive ability over whether or not you will have anything in "common" other than the fact that you both have a job..it's all very thrilling isn't it? When we were children and we had to attend an adult gathering..how boring was that? It's just not natural. The best way to meet people is to do what you are interested in and join groups involved in the interest, such as playing chess, horse back riding, scuba diving, reading books, travelling, cooking and if it really bothers you that you have trouble conversing with someone...I'm really bad at it too. A lot of people are really bad at it! All you have to do, though, is ask questions! One thing people love to talk about is themselves...so just ask questions, and look interested even if you aren't. However, I love to listen to people who are interesting, and everyone has something interesting about them...but do not expect to find interesting people at "parties" or bars. People who are at bars or parties are there because they can't think of anything else to do. ;)

Oh one other thing..we usually don't really have "Interests" that we want to get involved with all the time. They come and go. You are right we all need people and that sense of bonding. In this society it is usually our "family" that takes care of that need and it is often poorly taken care of. Our culture teaches us, and mainly women, that self-fulfillment comes through self involvement, but I think it is the total opposite. It comes from community. When your family doesn't take care of that need, if a person doesn't involve themselves with the community then it becomes a problem for the person. Unhappiness is a result. So you might want to look into volunteer programs or church if you are religious to foster a sense of communal bonding...and then you might meet your special someone. Trust me men won't hold your conversation issue against you.





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