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Schizophrenia Message Board


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Today I have been busy on the various boards...being upbeat and optimistic for others concering issues with medications. I haven't really spilled my guts on what is bothering me. I've been diagnosed with Schizoeffective, Bipolar disorder. I'm really concerned that I've been misdiagnosed or the disorder is turning into full blown Schizophrenia. I've started having hallucinations, both visual and auditory on a regular basis...especially when I am alone.

I once was in some terrible trouble and prayed to God about it but did not see any relief. I then made a pact with the devil and believe I traded my soul for the help I wanted at the time. If the trade really happened I can't say. It was over 20 years ago. Lately, a Great Aunt that I saw maybe 10 or 12 times in my life has come to me and crying and saying it is almost time to pay the devil. The same is true with my grandmother. Both women have been dead for many years now. I see them and hear them. My Grandmother tells me this is the worst thing I've ever done and she just crys and crys. This is driving me nuts and giving me the creeps too.

I also had a dream twice lately. I am in bed and see myself hung over the bedroom door. I'm obvioulsy dead due to the grey color of my face. The dream wakes me in an awful sweat.

All of this sounds like some of the things I've read on this board. Does anyone think it sounds like I am going Schizophrenic? Help...I'm really frightened by this turn of events. I'm in therapy and also get my meds from a psychiatrist. They think I'm dellusional and paranoid but have not mentioned changing my diagnosis. I'm not even sure what changes would take place in my treatment if my diagnosis were changed. What do some of you think? I'm grateful for this board because what I've just described is not something you can just tell to most people. I know people here understand what I'm talking about.
First off, sorry no one replied to your post. I think schizophrenia has so many unanswered questions that most people don't know what to say or do. I just want to tell you that I'm sorry that you are going through so much torment right now. I think it is good you are still going to therapy and hopefully they will continue to monitor whats been going on with you. All you can do right now is put trust in your dr.'s and medication. Please keep us poated on your progess. :)
Ellatedgiraffe - thank you for your response. I was starting to think I offended everyone here with something I said. I went back to the psych doctor this past Tuesday. We are discussing the possibility of ECT to help me since the meds don't seem to be doing the job. I'll keep you posted on my progress and if I ellect to go through with the ECT.
Good luck. Hopefully they can maybe find some meds that will help. Maybe ECT will help them better assist you.
[QUOTE=vturner1]Today I have been busy on the various boards...being upbeat and optimistic for others concering issues with medications. I haven't really spilled my guts on what is bothering me. I've been diagnosed with Schizoeffective, Bipolar disorder. I'm really concerned that I've been misdiagnosed or the disorder is turning into full blown Schizophrenia. I've started having hallucinations, both visual and auditory on a regular basis...especially when I am alone.

I once was in some terrible trouble and prayed to God about it but did not see any relief. I then made a pact with the devil and believe I traded my soul for the help I wanted at the time. If the trade really happened I can't say. It was over 20 years ago. Lately, a Great Aunt that I saw maybe 10 or 12 times in my life has come to me and crying and saying it is almost time to pay the devil. The same is true with my grandmother. Both women have been dead for many years now. I see them and hear them. My Grandmother tells me this is the worst thing I've ever done and she just crys and crys. This is driving me nuts and giving me the creeps too.

I also had a dream twice lately. I am in bed and see myself hung over the bedroom door. I'm obvioulsy dead due to the grey color of my face. The dream wakes me in an awful sweat.

All of this sounds like some of the things I've read on this board. Does anyone think it sounds like I am going Schizophrenic? Help...I'm really frightened by this turn of events. I'm in therapy and also get my meds from a psychiatrist. They think I'm dellusional and paranoid but have not mentioned changing my diagnosis. I'm not even sure what changes would take place in my treatment if my diagnosis were changed. What do some of you think? I'm grateful for this board because what I've just described is not something you can just tell to most people. I know people here understand what I'm talking about.[/QUOTE]



My wife is BP and Schizoeffective also. Those two illnesses are related. You can have both.
dude... why dont you just repent to God for your mistake, repent your sinful nature, and take in jesus in your Heart. God will forgive you, clear your name... and you safe as a bug in a rug...... try it.... God is a God.... The devil is just a fallen angel... God makes angels.....the devil betrayed God, and wants to be a God. God wont let that happen, it's already written.... And once that part is squared away, you can feel reassured and keep following doctor's advice too... because it sounds a little too twisted. Go christian, but not delusional about it, and let the doctors help... in a way a doctor is an extension of God's healing hand. Obviously someone is trying to help.... do whatever you can.... but stay away from satanic crap.... it plays with the mind and screws people up.
i have both also, and the experiences you say you have.... i have had them also... i think it is part of it. when you think about this trade with the devil are your memory of it very vivid in your head ??? god loves you, he has more power over the devil than the devil has on you.... i wouldn't worry about it... we are not the only ones outhere that has had this experience.... give your soul back to god... you'll find he's had it all along...
I would be creeped too.I see a monster with no legs crawling up my stairs trying to get me.I feel his presence when I am in the shower.He is now gone with the help of meds.He always used to say my name.Things of this nature would happen only when I was alone.I was creeped.I hope you can build a relationship with god.I don't mean to get religious but try praying again. I hope you get your meds right.I was diagnosed with schizo effective also.Plus bipolar disorder,I just started hearing voices.I posted a new thread check it out.
Even if you did make a pact with the Devil, Jesus died to pay the price for your sins, including that one, and all you have to do is ask Him to forgive you. You don't have to pay the devil if you turn to God now. There is no sin so great that Jesus cannot save you from it if you turn to Him.

From what I understand, quite a few people have symptoms of BP and schizophenia together.





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