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Schizophrenia Message Board

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Wow....I just typed a huge long thing and my computer crashed, so I'm starting alllll over. Anyway, your bizarre, sounds similar to my son's. At least you know something is wrong though, that's the biggest thing, knowing or admitting something is wrong. I am so sorry for you, sounds like you were really heading places. But, like I said, biggest step is admitting something is wrong. People with mental illness CAN and DO lead productive lives, go to school, work and everything.

Now for your questions....Mike's been on Zyprexa at first, which he took half-assed. He gained 30 pounds in one month. They took him off of it cuz of the diabetes in his family. He seemed to do well on it except for that. At least he talked to me and told me what he was learning in rehab and all. Then he was taken to the mental hospital after a psychotic episode and ever since then he doesn't tell us anything. We try to get it out of him, like when he's talking to himself or hearing voices as far as we can tell, but he just says he didn't say anything or he's not thinking about anything. I also think he doesn't tell us cuz he's afraid we'll have him committed, even though we've assured him that's not the case. They put him on Abilify, 15 mgs, he did well a few weeks, then downhill. Increased it to 30 mgs, did well, then downhill in a few weeks. Added Trazadone for anger....did well for a few weeks, then downhill. Finally we kept the Abilify in the morning, Trazadone 3 times a day and added Thorazine at night. He did well for a few weeks, then had to increase the Thorazine. Same thing, did well for five or six weeks this time, then this weekend he was really bad. Not sleeping well, which caused aggravation, combativeness, can't get his attention, etc. He finally crashed last night and slept real good. Today he was much better. I think it goes in cycles, the good days and bad days. He doesn't do anything when he's here at home. Takes a nap in the morning and the afternoon. He does work at a Burger King nearby. They know he's mentally ill and have really worked with him, I am so grateful for them. They now have him working 5 days a week, about 3 hours each night, to do the fryers, which he does well. He can't work with customers or anything, but right now what they have him doing is perfect. He keeps talking about quitting his meds cuz they aren't doing him any good. Sometimes I think that might be a good idea just to see what happens, but it also scares the crud outta me. Also, music seems to affect him also, he likes listening to heavy metal, but it gets him so aggitated that we have tried to "lose" all of his heavy metal music. I hate doing that, but its not worth having it around for him to listen to. I can't remember all your questions, so I'm going to close this, read your's again and maybe come back on if I missed anything.

Are you on meds? I can't remember what you said about that. You seem pretty high functioning, have you actually been diagnosed with schizophrenia? That incident at school sounds like you had a panic attack to me. By the way Congratulations on your sobriety....keep it up! If you have any other questions, I'll try to answer them for ya.
That is so weird Iam the same way, when people ask me something I also answer with yes or no. Also I have to say,"what" all the time because I don't understand right away what somebody is saying to me. I might not hear them well or my head is in lala land. Whenever someone talks to me I ask them to repeat what they sayed like 3 times till i understand what they are talking about. It is so frustrating because I feel like an 80 year old women, but when you look at me you see an attractive 25 year old women. I do the same thing as Mike I watch alot of TV, that is one thing that doesn't make me feel bonkers most of the time. I also spend a lot of time thinking about all the times I was high out of my face. It helps me realize I feel weird because i did alot of drugs and there are consequences. I have to stop thinking about the past it is only going to make me feel more depressed.
That is really good that your son is working, at least he can do that. Doctors tell me Iam not schizoprenic, even though I insist on it. But one doctor diagnosed me as having psychosis due to drugs, and bipolar. He prescribed me seroquel but i tried it and it makes me feel worse. If I take it Iam not motivated to do anything, like taking my regular walks. Before I started my drug addiction I was a very active person and i enjoyed exercising on a daily basis. The medication just slows me down it doesn't take away my problems. So i would rather be a crazy person who can work out. Oh my gosh i tried abilify and the next day i could not see anything for like 3 minutes everything was blurry to me. But everyone is different and that medication may be right for your son. You know our bodies get used to medications very easily and then you need more and more and more to get the same effect. If thats the case then maybe that is a sign that the meds are actually doing more harm then good. Because medication is just another drug and like other drugs you get side effects and then you need to increase the dosage, and then when you try to come off the stuff you end up getting withdrawl symptoms. But if your son is extremly paranoid and aggresive off the drugs then maybe it is a good idea to keep him on them. I have decided if i start to feel worse i will take medicaton. I met some people that have mental illness and they tell me how they always have to change medications, and in the end it seems like the meds are just causing more problems. Honestly i don't know what to think anymore. I have realized alot through my recovery process, everyone has problems in life. You cannot control everything, maybe thats just what god wants. The only thing you can do is except what ever you have and live with it as best as you can. I was still wondering how long did he use the meth for? Like 1 year or two? I did the same thing as Mike when I did use I would go overboard, i almost died like 3 times because at one point i could not breath. I realize now why i was so hooked on it and why i would do more even though it would make me paranoid and psycho. Your brain gets used to the drug and it ends up wanting more to try to get the same feeling as before but after a while it changes the chemistry in your brain. Some people realize when enough is enough and it is doing more harm, others don't, like me and Mike we did not know we were slowly making ourselves crazy. Somedays i wish i had died from an overdose, this way i would not be going through the rest of my life as a lunatic.

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