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Schizophrenia Message Board

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Hi Koolaid,

Thank you so much for the info. I appreciate it!!

I went to Borders Book store last night and bought three books: Depression, Bipolar, and Borderline Personality Disorder.

I know I have anxiety/depression. Could be Bipolar- would like to discuss this with psychologist next Thur.

I started reading the BPD book. A lot of it, so far, sounds very familiar to me. The "always having to have someone". I started dating at 14 yrs old. I'm 33 yrs old now. Between the age of 14 and 20....I was only without a boyfriend for 1 or 2 weeks!!!

I met my husband at age 20, we got married at age 22. We are still happily married w/ 2 boys.

The BPD info. also rings a bell with me because they say that a lot of people with BPD were not close to their moms. That would be me.

The only thing is that I do not self-harm. No cutting. I do smoke though and eat like a pig when I'm angry,bored,depressed.

I was just on another site reading about BPD. Someone there said that getting a tattoo is a sign of self-harm??? I do have a tattoo. A rose with my husbands name. I don't see how this could be a sign of BPD????

Anyways, I love reading too. So, I will probably figure this out before the psychologist does!! he, he.

Okay, the MMP Test's been a month and a half since I sent it back to Cleveland Clinic!! No one has called me yet about the results!!

The test was NOT given to me by the psychologist that I'm seeing right now. It was given to me by a dr at CC. I was there to be checked for yopd (thought I had it). He sent me home w/ the MMP2... :D

Since you're a senior psychology major.....why do you think it's taking them sooooo long to come to a conclusion on my test??? Is it good or bad that it's taking them sooooo long to get back with me???

Thank you for your help!! :wave:
Well, the test itself is lenghty, and they must score the test, then interpret the results. I'm sure that the time it took to get your results back isn't specific of your problems, or because you are a special case :) I read your other thread that said you got the results. I would think that your psychologyst got the results, and I'm sure they differ in what you were given. They might have some psychological mumbo-jumbo that you might not understand. That might be why you only got a letter that said you had anxiety and worry.

It is good that you got some books to read. Educate yourself on the human mind. It really is interesting. I found that reading about psychology calmed my nerves, and made me more aware of what was going on with my mind. I used to suffer from panic attacks, anxiety, and dysthymia (chronic depression).

About BPD - I was reading about that in my DSM last night, and it did start to seem like what you described. Instability of interpersonal relatonships, self-image, and affects (your mood) and marked impulsivity are the major characteristics of BPD. However, BPD also deals with self-injurious behaviors (cutting, etc.) and suicidal behaviors. I don't recall you talking about those sorts of behaviors in your first post. Keep in mind that you may not "fit" into a certain diagnosis, so don't try to push the triangle through the circle hole. :)

Here is a copy & paste from the DSM for the diagnostic criteria from BPD:[i]

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and
marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated
by five (or more) of the following:

1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or
self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating
between extremes of idealization and devaluation

3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self

4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex,
substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating
behavior covered in Criterion 5.

5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

6. affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria,
irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

7. chronic feelings of emptiness

8. inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper,
constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

Keep in mind that you don't necessarly have to "fit" a certain diagnosis. If you don't quite fit one, you might try to make yourself fit a diagnosis since us humans have to "know." Try to be more concerned with thinking through your actions and using logic rather than trying to fit yourself into a certain diagnosis. I have heard of many people who have lived out a self-fulfilling prophecy due to them trying to "fit" into a diagnosis when they were only experiencing minor anxiety.

Take care!
Hi Koolaid,

I started seeing the psychologist right after sending the test back to CC. It was mine and my family dr's decision to do so. She is right down the street from me.

As far as I know, the dr at CC doesn't even know that I've been seeing her. Unless, of course, my family dr or the psychologist called CC and told the dr.

So, the actual results of the test aren't being sent to anyone. But, my psychologist did ask me to sign them over to her when I got them.

I'm just a little upset because I've been searching for 9 years for the reason for my symptoms. I was excited to finally maybe have some answers to my problems....and all I get is a dinky letter saying that SOME of my symptoms are from anxiety-worry-stress.

As for, I don't self-harm and I'm not suicidal. There are times though when I get into a deep depression that if a truck hit me head on I wouldn't care. But, I would never do anything to myself. I'm very afraid of death, I get the chills when I think about it.

Anyways, thank you for the reply!! :angel: I guess I do kinda get caught up in wanting "a name" put to all of this that I'm going through. I'll try and not worry about the "diagnosis" part of it..and work on my symptoms.
ok, easier said than done!! :p

Take Care

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