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Schizophrenia Message Board


Schizophrenia Board Index


Although I have dismissed the possibility of having schizophrenia, I still tour these forums out of curiousity and sheer boredom(I have a lot of spare time at school without friends). Well, while I was walking back from the water fountain today I kept thinking to myself that I didn't have schizophrenia(I've recently started doubting the possibility due to knowing my past), I saw the same thing, flashes of lights. But I don't know if they are how you say they are, because its really hard to identify something you see with words. So I'll TRY to describe it.

I started noticing the superimposed outlines of the worm like cells in our eyes(everybody has them, just close your eye and look at the wall or something).. and after a few seconds I started seeing these blank flashes of light. But they were odd. They were rice shaped and only took up the ride side of my peripheal vision. Well, there were about 10-20 of these flashes coming in and out of my sight. I quickly looked at way, because I thought I might of seriously been having visual hallucinatinos, and then afterwards they went away. I'm sure I looked pretty strange to all the people sitting down on the side of the halls as I started to looked strangly at these things that came into my sight and just as quickly vanished. I dismissed the thought, thinking it might of been some natural response to straining the eyes in some way(even though I've been more sensitive to light, and I seem to be disappearing from the noise that surrounds me). And also, during a trip to the mall with a friend I had not seen in a while, he went somewhere and I lost him and I tried looking for him. Well, while walking alone I heard his voice call me in his familiar tone and I swinged around to greet him, but the only thing that greeted me was a group of people looking at me oddly. I don't think this was because of schizophrenia though, I think I just kind of "expected" him to just pop up on me and that expectation had triggered the sound of his voice, and I thought I heard it. So I think it was that I expected it that I heard it. ( and for some reason, in the following weeks I've tried to get him to go somewhere, and for some reason he always find some little excuse to not go, even though they are excuses that I know are very well not true)


Oh yah, and at night sometimes, I get gibberish sounds and I've become afraid of the shadows in the dark. It's pretty weird. and Also after reading some of the stories on here, I've become scared to turn off the light due to thinking there might be an alien in my room or the boogie man is at my closet. And even though intellectually I know they don't exist, the possibility and that accompanied by foreign shadows frightens me into thinking there might be something wrong, and so I turn the light on at night. And then I get extremely tired to the point of incoherency and I just don't care anymore. Oh well, I'm sorry if this was pretty stupid considering I'm 18, an age at would many would consider me as an adult, not some 2 year old that's afraid of things in the dark. Oh well, just some more of things that might be considered in relating with you.
hi,
a few things have been worrying me, hopefully i just have an overactive imagination or something but yeah i thought i'd just see what you think..
i know these things are weird or wrong or not there but they are as well. i'm not sure if this is schizophrenia because i thought if you had this you didn't think there was anything wrong with you, or maybe thats if its severe. i always see these flashes of light or something moving and i get really frightened and go 'what was that'??! but no one saw it. and i believe even though i know its probably not true that my dining room is haunted, i think this is only because the bookcase is a sort of multi-portal thing. i don't know how you get through it, not that i'd want to but i think it has something to do with the old clock that has stopped in there. yeah, there are some other things but i can't sort of say out loud that they're not true. part of me knows its sort of not reeal. but i don't know. there are these people/something else , there are two that sort of move around the house and appear not in physical form though. a lady with red hair and an older guy with glasses, i thought these were the people who must have owned the house i don' tknow. the guy doesn't appear alone, only the girl. they don't do much, just rush past or stand around abit. there's also my sort of i don't know what, friend/guardian. but i don't want to talk about it because if i do he'll go away. i told my friend and then i freaked out coz he might never come back, he came back once faintly, maybe it was the last time though. so i won't say anything just in case. i have these strange irrational thoughts a lot that when people are in the kitchen that they are about to grab a knife and stab me. but i know this is crazy.
thanks





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