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Schizophrenia Message Board

Schizophrenia Board Index

I am worried that I may have schizophrenia which is why I'm posting here on this board. The main reason that I am wondering if I have schizophrenia is because I talk to myself. I know that everybody talks to themselves, but the way I do it seems abnormal to me. I find myself having conversations in my head the way I would have them with people but it's as if I'm actually living inside of my head. I want to make it clear that I don't hear voices or see things and that I don't have any other symptoms that could be considered symptoms of schizophrenia as far as my knowledge is concerned. It is stricktly this obsessive talking that has be worried about it, and the reason is that I have always assumed only people with schizophrenia talk to themselves. I have told my mother about it and she says that it is a way of coping with the fact that I am "lonely," not that I have schizophrenia. It makes sense to me, but she's not a trained professional so I still have my doubts. I am really hoping that I don't have this disease, that some one will tell me I'm just severely depressed. Severe depression seems much easier to heal than schizophrenia and I sometimes think that if I end up having schizophrneia that it would be better not to live. Can anybody tell me what they think? I ask here since I know that many of you are coping with the disease or just have a general interest in it the way that I do.
I find it interesting that you described your symptoms as "obsessive thinking" because that might very well be what it is. Let me make it clear that if you're not hearing a voice other than your own inside of your head, then you are not schizophrenic. I also have lengthy conversations in my head and talk to myself (I'm an only child, which can induce loneliness, and my head is my best friend... and best foe! LOL!). The key is, are you debating or arguing with your thoughts? Do you hear something like, "I want to kill my husband," even though it's not true, and you spend the rest of the day, trying to prove to yourself that this is not something that you want to do? If so, you might have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. As a fellow OCD-er, I have conversations in my head constantly, and they're on two levels: obsessive thinking and just me talking to myself. If you're not having obsessive thoughts and don't think you could have OCD and not hearing voices other than your own inside of your head, I would think that you're perfectly normal, and it's just a consequence of being lonely and by yourself most of the time.
I saw a psychiatrist when I was 16 and he said I have obsessive compulsive disorder. The therapist that I was seeing at the same time said that I didn't have it, that I was just going through a phase and he thought I would be o.k. Actually, he said i might have a small tendency to it so I normally think of myself as having some obsessive compulsive disorder.

The thoughts I try to get out of my mind when they enter are usually sexual but I haven't had that problem in a while. I also dont have the need to wash my hands everytime I touch something any more. Those things have since dissipated.

Sometimes I still have "ugly" thoughts in my head and I try to argue them away but they keep entering my mind like if it was another intellect inside of my own. I once thought if maybe it was like having multiple personalities, but I just try to force them away as "bad, unwanted thoughts."
Hi curiouslearner,

Based on your messages that you posted, I would say that you have anxiety and obsessive thinking. If you have obsessive thinking, you examine every little thing that is going on and you get so worked up that you are searching for more things wrong and it just keeps building up. You start looking / searching for symptoms thinking that you have a disease like schizophrenia right away. Why do people with obsessive thinking skip to the worst possible outcome right away, like in your case, schizophrenia? BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CONTROL IT. First of all, before you do anything more, I would like you to do yourself a great favor. ORDER & READ the book: HOPE & HELP FOR YOUR NERVES by Dr. Claire Weeks. I think it will do nothing but good for your life reguardless of what disease you may have.

As for now, I recommend you try exercising VIGOROUSLY for 1 hour each day and see if that helps. If you don't have it within yourself to exercise, well then, I would consider trying a LOW DOSE of a medication to treat OCD or anxiety. I am certainly not a psychiatrist, but try some things first. And try to keep yourself busy so you are not constantly worried that you have schizophrenia. Knowing about the illness is wise, but if you have obsessive thinking, the more you know about it, the more "symptoms" you have of it.

Good Luck,

And I Hope You Try The Things That I Suggested With An Open Mind & No Excuses, And Then, See How You Feel,

Jedi Mind Trick
Im guessing you dont think I have schizophrenia but that I am just anxious over it. Some part of me tends to agree with you.
Hi Curiouslearner,

OCD / anxiety / hypochondria (A form of anxiety) can have symptoms that make you obsess to the point where you think everything is wrong with you when really there is nothing seriously wrong with you except the OCD / anxiety / hypochondria. I have been on paxil, and.... you probably should have started on a way lower dose and tried to see if that worked, then gradually increase the dosage and keep trying the med. until you get the right dose that works for you, yet is the lowest possible. Otherwise withdrawal will be way harder for you. I'm glad you are starting to feel a little bit better. Obsessing on the internet and 'searching' for symptoms only feeds your obsession and makes things worse.

Did you do some of the things that I suggested [in my previous post] yet?
Come on now, people talked to themselves sometimes and if not, then I guess I'm crazy. When I read your post I even talked to myself saying, "I talked to myself sometimes too, so what? I'm not crazy..." But in all seriousness, I know what you're talking about and know that you're not schizophrenic. How do you think great authors and musicians and such create such beautiful art? They imagine and create things inside their minds, sometimes doing it out loud. Ok, so maybe some authors and musicians are a little unsual. You have to understand that just because you talk out loud to yourself sometimes or even if you create a little world of your own inside your head, not to the point of it ruining your life, doesn't make you a schizophrenic. Consider yourself a dreamer, like most people. I'll guarantee that if everyone was to reveal everything that they ever thought of or imagined, I mean everything, we would all be considered "insane".

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