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Schizophrenia Message Board

Schizophrenia Board Index

Yeah :) This is pretty normal. A lot of the time, I feel I need my space from my partner and from sex and that kind of thing because... well... there's a lot going on in there (the head) and when I'm not doing well, I just like to be on my own. Even when I am well, I like to be on my own a fair bit.

I'm happy you met him. It sounds like you care for him a lot and you'll try not to let his being sick get in the way of your persuit of him. That's great! Because we have a lot to offer relationships. Just be willing to be there. Don't push him to talk if he doesn't want to and give him space when he needs it. Take him seriously and take his thoughts seriously. Don't let his sz fool you into thinking he's never thinking properly. This was an issue in many relationships I had. I wasn't taken seriously and I'd feel I had to second guess everything I felt, thought, knew, etc... They didn't give me any credit for being a "normal" human being.

But the good news is, I'm engaged to be married now. The man I'm with understands what a mental illness is like as he suffers moderate anxiety and depression. He loves me, he listens to me, he takes me seriously and gives me my space when I need it. He doesn't push me to be social and stays home with me rather than leaving me home and going out when I don't want to.

To be fair, though... I think being with me is quite a full time job for him. He's always on the lookout for signs of a relapse because I'm not always capable of seeing them myself. (That's another thing. When I get sick, I don't usually realize I am. That's what makes treatment so hard a lot of the time is that the meds suck and the illness lies.) It takes a lot of commitment on the part of both of you. It can be hard. Gary (my fiance) and I broke up for some time earlier because he just had so much trouble dealing with my schizophrenia.. But during our separation, he worked really hard at further educating himself about what I was dealing with and what HE was dealing with because there is a lot the partner of a sz person has to deal with too.

Sorry. I've not slept well and this is pretty lucid, isn't it? :) I'll write more as it comes to me.

Again, I'm happy you've found someone you care for. Don't let the schizophrenia stand in your way. We're all in there somewhere!


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