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Schizophrenia Message Board


Schizophrenia Board Index


ok, I've been reading more about borderline shizophrenia.

I guess I'll just come right out and ask her at my next appt in 2 wks if that's what I have.

The test also was on the verge of conversion disorder.....she said that luckily I didn't cross over to it....I've spent 10 yrs trying to figure out why i developed lots of physical symptoms in 95.....went from thinking I had to have ms, lupus, parkinsons, brain tumor,,and on and on to the next illness.
I believed the dr's once they told me for sure I didn't have 'so and so illness'...it was just that inbetween visits I was 100% convinced I had 'so and so illness' until dr said "no you don't".

Anyways, is anyone here dx'd with borderline schizophrenia. Or dx'd with it at first and then dx'd with schizophrenia?

My abnormal thinking and behaving through the yrs have been:

Thinking husband was cheating on me with a girl named joy. At x-mas time I hated seeing the word JOY....put me in instant panic attack.

When H would come home a little later than usual I'd be thinking in my head that he's cheating on me.

In the winter time when the leaves fall off the trees in front of the house, I will only open the living room blinds a tiny bit because their are no leaves on the trees to block the windows. I do this because FIL gives me panic attacks because of something that happened to me when little (nothing that FIL has done/did to me). FIL and MIL live right across the street from H and me.

I always think people are talking negative about me behind my back. This started in elementary school.

The only time I've heard a voice
was when I was little and I was up in my room listening to a Howdy Doody record. The record was playing and I was going to go downstairs to the bathroom and the music stopped and a man's voice asked me "Where are you going?"

I booked it down those steps so fast and wouldn't sleep in my room that night. And now I panic if I see anything "Howdy Doody". A relative gave the kids a Howdy Doody tree ornament and I wont even touch it to put it up!!

Another strange thing that I was thinking is this:
I went to the cleveland clinic to be checked for parkinsons. Dr there said no pd. He did give me the MMP test to take though.
When H and I left his office I told my H, "I bet you anything my mom called the dr to tell him I'm crazy".
In my mind back then I was thinking "I know I have parkinsons and now my mom butted in and I'll never get diagnosed"

Ok, enough for now.

Any ideas from anyone? :wave:

I'll be 35 on the 17th....hopefully soon I'll know where I belong because I've felt lost for a long, long time.

Forgot to add that my grandpa had schizophrenia and had been in a mental hospital long time ago, my uncle had schizophrenia and passed away in a mental hospital in Pa. , my aunt has a serious problem but has not been dx'd that I know of, other uncle has severe mental problems, my mom also has depression and something else going on (she's never said what though-but she always reads me her cards when I go over there to see my future).

All of these relatives are on my mom's side.





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