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Schizophrenia Message Board


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Hi, I was wondering if someone could tell me if they think I may have schizophrenia or not. One of the checklists for it that I've seen online fit me almost exactly except for disordered thinking. I have one thing that I haven't seen anywhere; I have sharp hard body jerking, or twisting: for ex. my shoulder for about 2 days jerked up hard over and over again.
Also my head will move in a shaking motion, sometimes very hard to the point my head hurts, or my backend will twist while I'm sitting.

My delusion is that someone outside of me is doing this to me through some kind of technology, and that I've been chosen as a target. This is being done to me because I'm a bad person, because I'm conceited and want to be attractive and put makeup on, because of sexual thoughts, and also I think because I continue to do certain behaviors even though they hurt my family supposedly(although I realize now my family's punishments, insomnia,headache,can be explained), but because of this I guess it's supposed to mean I have no heart. by the way, I also think these people can read my mind and when I go out people refer to these thoughts or to trigger words and actions purposedly used to let me know I'm being watched.

Anyway, very recently I've started thinking people on television are referring to me, and that I've been turned into some kind of scapegoat/boogeyman/pinata for this international organization because I have gone on a few rants about how evil and wrong I thought what they were doing to me was. The tv thing was the point where I realized there is a very good chance here that I'm not in my right mind and none of this is real.
I also occasionally have some background voices or audible thoughts.

Although I recently accepted that there's a good chance I'm not well, I'm having a difficult time completely accepting that it's all delusional. The truth is nothing I've based my beliefs on over a year can be proven. It could actually all be explained, I assume, by visual and audio hallucinations, am I right? Is it possible to think you are seeing and hearing people say something that they're not really saying? Because it seems very real.

And the other thing is the jerking body movements. I understand that this can happen on meds, but I have as of yet never taken any except antidepressants like Wellbutrin and Zoloft, and that was for a short period of time. I also have certain physical feelings like pain, or like something is almost tapping me electrically. I also physically felt a sensation like my genitals were being effected (sorry if that's too much information).

Thanks for any help,
Marin
[QUOTE=sonvaz]
My delusion is that someone outside of me is doing this to me through some kind of technology, and that I've been chosen as a target. This is being done to me because I'm a bad person, because I'm conceited and want to be attractive and put makeup on, because of sexual thoughts, and also I think because I continue to do certain behaviors even though they hurt my family supposedly(although I realize now my family's punishments, insomnia,headache,can be explained), but because of this I guess it's supposed to mean I have no heart. by the way, I also think these people can read my mind and when I go out people refer to these thoughts or to trigger words and actions purposedly used to let me know I'm being watched.

Anyway, very recently I've started thinking people on television are referring to me, and that I've been turned into some kind of scapegoat/boogeyman/pinata for this international organization because I have gone on a few rants about how evil and wrong I thought what they were doing to me was. The tv thing was the point where I realized there is a very good chance here that I'm not in my right mind and none of this is real.
I also occasionally have some background voices or audible thoughts.

Although I recently accepted that there's a good chance I'm not well, I'm having a difficult time completely accepting that it's all delusional. The truth is nothing I've based my beliefs on over a year can be proven. It could actually all be explained, I assume, by visual and audio hallucinations, am I right? Is it possible to think you are seeing and hearing people say something that they're not really saying? Because it seems very real.

And the other thing is the jerking body movements. I understand that this can happen on meds, but I have as of yet never taken any except antidepressants like Wellbutrin and Zoloft, and that was for a short period of time. I also have certain physical feelings like pain, or like something is almost tapping me electrically. I also physically felt a sensation like my genitals were being effected (sorry if that's too much information).

Thanks for any help,
Marin[/QUOTE]


LoL, not too much information at all. :) However, if they are "watching you", I would think that you shared too much information and you are now RED ALERT!

Right? I mean if they were watching when you were typing and posting this for others to see, wouldn't they see you? Okay...you made the post...so they saw...right?

There are no secret service agents at your house right now, as they would have been. :P You have what I would like to call a simple/complex problem there.

I can explain it simply, but it takes work and effort to "master". You simply think....too much. You need to, appropriatly put..Shut The Fock Up...Well in your head anyways. You need to learn SILENCE and CONTROL, this is done through focus and/or meditation. You are highly paranoid, too an extreme extent. Why does this all scare you? You have been scared for several years (or all your life) that people are listening to your thoughts and they are all talking about you...Nothing has happened to you yet....has it?

Know its delusional or know its the truth...lol...you choose.

As for your comments on yourself as a bad person and you have no heart. Again, that would come to a simple complexity. (made that up..I think.) You need to TRAIN your MIND to THINK positive thoughts. Or better yet...NOTHING AT ALL (silence..through meditation) This is far easier thatn trying to stay positive all the time. But once silence is mastered, focus on the positive...or nothing at all. (As its been said, if you can't say somthing nice, then don't say anything at all)....Works best when done in your head.

If your off the meds now, stay off. Meds are nothing but equivilants to alcohol and street drugs. They never cure, but produce fast results, that will only be felt while using the drug....which means money money money.

These "simple complexities" were actually provided more in a simple way. I am giving you the base information you just need to produce the results.

You seem to me like you think too much and think too deep about dumb stuff. Your twitching and jerking?...as posted earlier "Shut The Fock Up". :angel:

Accept your mind and learn to use it. Once (through meditation) you "aquire" the "skills" through "effort" you will no more have any fear. (this goes for ALMOST ALL MENTAL ILLNESSES....just STFU! :) )

I would like to go farther but this post is getting long, and will most likely get ignored. As people would rather take the fast results, because they lack the "will" to give "effort" to their lives.

Life is a classroom. Learn and Grow...thats why we are here.

Much love, as love is the ultimate answer, as it always has been.

-DFW
[QUOTE=dfwgoodguy]LoL, not too much information at all. :) However, if they are "watching you", I would think that you shared too much information and you are now RED ALERT!

Right? I mean if they were watching when you were typing and posting this for others to see, wouldn't they see you? Okay...you made the post...so they saw...right?

There are no secret service agents at your house right now, as they would have been. :P You have what I would like to call a simple/complex problem there.

I can explain it simply, but it takes work and effort to "master". You simply think....too much. You need to, appropriatly put..Shut The Fock Up...Well in your head anyways. You need to learn SILENCE and CONTROL, this is done through focus and/or meditation. You are highly paranoid, too an extreme extent. Why does this all scare you? You have been scared for several years (or all your life) that people are listening to your thoughts and they are all talking about you...Nothing has happened to you yet....has it?

Know its delusional or know its the truth...lol...you choose.

As for your comments on yourself as a bad person and you have no heart. Again, that would come to a simple complexity. (made that up..I think.) You need to TRAIN your MIND to THINK positive thoughts. Or better yet...NOTHING AT ALL (silence..through meditation) This is far easier thatn trying to stay positive all the time. But once silence is mastered, focus on the positive...or nothing at all. (As its been said, if you can't say somthing nice, then don't say anything at all)....Works best when done in your head.

If your off the meds now, stay off. Meds are nothing but equivilants to alcohol and street drugs. They never cure, but produce fast results, that will only be felt while using the drug....which means money money money.

These "simple complexities" were actually provided more in a simple way. I am giving you the base information you just need to produce the results.

You seem to me like you think too much and think too deep about dumb stuff. Your twitching and jerking?...as posted earlier "Shut The Fock Up". :angel:

Accept your mind and learn to use it. Once (through meditation) you "aquire" the "skills" through "effort" you will no more have any fear. (this goes for ALMOST ALL MENTAL ILLNESSES....just STFU! :) )

I would like to go farther but this post is getting long, and will most likely get ignored. As people would rather take the fast results, because they lack the "will" to give "effort" to their lives.

Life is a classroom. Learn and Grow...thats why we are here.

Much love, as love is the ultimate answer, as it always has been.

-DFW[/QUOTE]
Medication or Meditation, you use what works for you. Some can keep the voices out by concentrating hard enough; others will focus on the voices by trying to concentrate. Asking someone to learn silence and control when they have none is easier said than done. Mental Illness is not a decision, it is a disease.





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