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Schizophrenia Message Board

Schizophrenia Board Index

I am having alot of issues lately with paranoia. I'm not really sure if it is as severe as schizophrenia as I don't have hallucinations or voices in my head. Though I often have very illogical thoughts, as well as thoughts of the worst always happening, and suicidal thoughts. I have very high social anxiety, and am often afraid to be around other people. I see a mental health councilor once a week (it is all I can afford) and take a mild antidepressant but I'm not sure if they are helping. I've found very little help as I, like most other paranoid people as far as I understand are very reluctant to talk to people when they think the world is out to get them. I am aware of the problem, but it took a serious life event for me to seek help, as I was afraid of both talking about it as well as taking any medication. I have been in two long term relationships that have been utterly ruined by my paranoia. Whenever I go places I always stare at security cameras, I always think that my partner is cheating, I don't trust family members, etc. I try to fight the thoughts and it's like i am arguing with myself. "She's cheating on you!, no she would never do that!" etc... Due to recent events in my life involving loss of a loved one, my partner, my job, my vehicle, and myself moving, I am having real trouble suppressing the bad thoughts. Though I often have suicidal thoughts I do not ever seriously consider doing so as I have lost a loved one that way and saw the way it affected my family members. So I feel as though I am in a limbo of terrible quality of life and seemingly no way to get better. Due to losing my job I will soon be unable to continue taking the medication that I am currently using (though I haven't really felt that it has been helping at all). I love my ex-girlfriend more than anything but I know that it is me pushing her away with my actions and thoughts. I was hoping that someone here could possibly share some ways that they have combated these thoughts or found a way to deal with them rationally.
I also have very bad paranoia problems that have brought immeasurable suffering to me in my life. Antipsychotic meds are the only thing that has ever helped me. I have terrible side effects from them and hate it, but nothing else has helped. I empathize with you and what you're going through. It is similar for me. Once I get an idea about something, it builds and builds and no amount of reasoning can stop it, and it eventually permeates everything in my life. I wish I knew of a better alternative, but meds are the only thing that has worked for me.
I am a Paranoid Schizophrenia/Bi-Polar/Severe Depression patient and I dealt with the cheating thoughts in my head too. I could hear myself thinking saying"She's cheating on me" and so forth except all the times I heard this or actually heard the females and them having sex in my head was me just hearing voices. It was a nightmare to say none-the-less man because all of the instances where I thought a girl was cheating on me was when it was an imaginary female. It's crazy huh? I could actually hear females moaning in my head and telling me they were cheating on me.

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