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Schizophrenia Message Board

Schizophrenia Board Index

Hello 8800GTS and waratah,

No problem, write as much as you feel like anytime. Yes, only Zoloft has helped my depression. It seemed to have worked just overnight. I was more happy, felt good about more things. My irritability and anger were nil. No paranoia. And yes other people could tell the difference. I thought this was a miracle if there ever was one. But it's a darn shame that Zoloft was the only med that worked for me. Now after more than 25 years I have nothing to show for those other 29 meds I have tried. Different kinds of meds too, not only for just depression.

How quickly I can forget things that I have been told or that I have read. For the love of God I have the hardest time absorbing and keeping information. Like I'm brain dead. It's almost scary when someone at work (years past, I have no longer worked since June 2001 due to arthritis and depression.) tells you somehing to do and you may or may not remember everything they said.

Schizophrenia is a brain disorder that affects the way a person acts, thinks, and sees the world. People with schizophrenia have an altered perception of reality, often a significant loss of contact with reality. They may see or hear things that don’t exist, speak in strange or confusing ways, believe that others are trying to harm them, or feel like they’re being constantly watched. Schizophrenia is a mental illness that affects the way your brain receives and interprets information from the world around you. The illness can make it hard for you to organize your thoughts. It can be difficult to relate to other people.

I take back what I said about not believing I may have symptoms of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. After reading more about it there are definitely symptoms of both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder in me. I may have disorganized speech, shifting subjects, etc. I feel some people are out to harm me. Blank facial expressions. Lack of emotion. Lack of ability to carry on conversations. Poor judgement. Slow thinking. I even have trouble talking sometimes. Can be embarrassing too.

Possible hallucinations. I can't elaborate much on that now, but maybe seeing things that aren't there. Like people in the distance when I am outside walking. I try to avoid people when possible, especially get togethers or groups of people.

Possible biploar disorder. I don't have any highs to speak of, but I do like to spend money, especially on computers. I really have to watch my spending because I do live on a limited budget, but I do live fairly comfortable.

I am paranoid more so when people look at me. I don't exactly look like your average Joe. I would say I'm not ugly, just a little different. Sometimes I can irritate people and don't have to say a thing. I have always tried to fit in and some people did/do like me. I did have a lot of friends many moons ago, but! One recent women I used to work with said I wasn't bad looking. I took that with a grain of salt. It was nice to hear however.

Going out in public can be trying for me. Not too bad, but at the grocery store is when I feel more paranoid and it feels like more people are looking at me. I try to avoid eye contact most of the time to avoid more of those negative feelings.

As a matter of fact I know that the police are watching me now. No joke! Every morning about 6:15AM I go for my daily walk. To make this short, I have seen a lot of different people in the areas I have walked. I have basically three areas that I used to walk in. And always there were walkers and joggers in the area too. Some old faces, some new faces.

Not sure what I have done to deserve attention from the Dallas police force. I have more proof, but won't go into it more here. It is irritating just knowing the police are watching you. I'm not into crime and I never have been. Not sure what to do next. I am working on that now.

Sorry this was long. Now I got carried away. Have a good one people.:cool:

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