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Schizophrenia Message Board

Schizophrenia Board Index

1st off, my dad is a paranoid schizophrenic and my mom was diagnosed with schizophrenia last week!! According to statistics, I have a 35% chance of developing the disorder someday. I'm 16 now, and I'm already stressing out...

Anyway, what I am worried about is:

On one random day when I was in 6th grade, I was taking a shower and I started to daydream...I was daydreaming about being in Gym class and coming in 1st the following day during our 1 mile run.

I daydreamed about it for like 10 mins.

Over the course of the following few months, I started doing this more and more. I started getting really involved in my daydreams. Eventually, by the time I was in 7th grade, I liked to listen to my CD player, go in my room, and imagine myself doing *great things* or things that I wanted to happen for sometimes, hours at a time!!

--don't get me wrong, I had a social life. I had a boyfriend at one point, I went to dances, I hung out with friends on a daily basis outside of school, etc. And the busier I stayed, the less time I spent on my daydreams--

Eventually, my *daydreams* were centered around me doing these things and people asking me questions (normal questions that people would ask during whatever event was going on) and me doing a lot of walking.

By the time I was in 8th grade, I enjoyed sort-of acting these things out. Let me explain: I would go into my room, turn on my cd player and turn out the lights, and would go through my daydreams lip-synching my daydreams and my answers to these questions as well as walking around my room sometimes or pretending I was doing whatever I was doing in my daydream. Of course, I talked too (not outloud--just lip synching).

I know, I know, this sounds freaky as hell, but I really can CONTROL it!!

At ALL times, I know what I am doing isn't really going on. I know that I'm not talking to anyone, I know that NO ONE is talking to me, I know I 'm not really doing anything, and I know I'm really in my room.

I can stop at ANY time, and out of being scared that something was wrong with me, I've even timed myself at various intervals to make sure that I was *sane* and aware of my surroundings at all times. I've also had my parents come in my room a few times and I knew what was going on (they simply thought I was listening to my ipod since I was just standing up and I looked at them) and I was completely coherent.

So, am I in a sense, possibly schizo or am I just WEIRD???


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