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Schizophrenia Message Board


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[QUOTE=MSD607;3692486]That's interesting, because he actually understands that this is an illness...most people are not able to tell that they have the illness. I really don't know what is wrong, but he obviously needs help. What are some of his other symptoms? Is he paranoid? Does he hear voices? Misinterpret things? etc...[/QUOTE]

Hi. Thanks for replying...He can be paranoid, but i would say as much as I am, especially when a person feels so low and negative. He does feel that he is being followed and assumes it is the imaginative devil he knows is in his imagination. He does feel distrusting to some extent of the people around him, but also knows that he is probably being paranoid. He hears thoughts and cant be sure if it is his voice or not. He can misinterpret things but again no more than i can at times. He is usually very sensitive and accurate in interpreting a change in a persons body or facial gesture and mostly correct at his interpretation just at times understandably sensitive. He is suffering from depression no doubt who would not under the circumstances and becomes very gloomy and sorry for himself, which does not help matters as he then would be inclined to do nothing and if left will choose to go to bed to dwell in pity over his active destructive imagination he clearly hates but cant stop it. He says that every thing around him changes form and it is always disgusting and foul and bloody and sexual. His brain mutilates his body parts and other peoples body parts. This distresses him and sends him into despair. He reports to feeling so removed from the real world which he says is the depersonalisation/Dereality and the fact that he cant function as he would like to with good health because of the activity in his mind. He is extremely negative and has a tiny speck of hope that he gets from others around him and hangs onto from time to time. He says all he feels is rage and hate and cannot feel love or a care for others, however I see him express other positive emotions from time to time but he does not recognise this as a feeling. I believe anyone suffering like he is will no doubt have rage and hatred for the world...he just wants the agony of the warped activity in his brain to stop! A walk is not a walk in his brain everything unimaginable is happening. Eating is not just eating again everything unimaginable. Everything he looks at, hears or smells turns his brain into a playground of hell. He is intelligent and has not lost his cognitive abilities, only much slower to preform tasks, due to the constant activity he has to put up with whilst doing something. He finds making decisions difficult because he has no feeling to go with his own idea of what he thinks he would decide and these ideas are challenged by this internal commentary constantly, telling him this or that. All this confuses him, he reports he is not aware if he has any of his own thoughts or cannot recognise if it is his own thought or the destructive commentary that changes everything in his mind. I notice though that he does or can make decisions of his own if at a moments chance during a conversation or when an immediate action is necessary without him having time in pondering or giving his brain a chance to mess with his decision. He says that his nights are filled with terror during sleep and his dreams are hell. This may or is likely to be night panic attacks related to the day events imagined or real? It takes him hours in the morning to begin to communicate with us and this is due to taking a lorazapam slowing down his anxiety alot and activity in his brain slightly. If he does not take this pill his anxiety is high and he reports that the activity is not as sinister and he feels more comfortable in a high state of anxiety, however i can promise you he functions less and is more like he is in a primitive state (panic). His symptoms have got worse over the past several weeks to be like I have described, but as usual as in the past relating to stressful events, he has had some highly emotional stress going on and this usually results in his symptoms becoming increasingly worse for some time. Usually it takes several weeks or more of calm before his symptoms slowly decreases ever so slightly but enough for him to have more energy and resources of his own to cope a bit better... for instance the image of the devil and commentary is much less frequent, but the other violent/sexual stuff remains. He is a constant worrier. Always asking for reassurance. He says he has always worried and been introspective of his life and always made plans and remade plans over and over to be better and better with high expectations in his personal life and work, but yet they never seemed to match the reality of his high performances anyway! (His entire family are this way inclined twd him and themselves). He appears to have traits of that of 'dependent personality disorder' in the past and a social anxiety disorder due to the parental and intellectual pressures put on him. The process he says started at 19yrs when he suffered a major panic attack and became ill with glandular fever. Depression and worry took hold of him over many years. His mother says he was always fairly anxious as a child, but then he was always on show for his performances being very talented and away at boarding school since he was seven. His father is critical and internally perfectionist twd his children's lives if not to replace their own expectations that is in hope that that will be the answer to happiness!! All done out of love, but a lack of personal boundaries is very evident till this day. I hope i am being clear in describing this on his behalf. I appreciate your input!! My concern was or is or could this be prodromal psychosis or prodromal schizophrenia? slowly developing where a person is still aware of what is happening?? Not sure if anyone can describe their development of schizophrenia if any can at all..over years prior?





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