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Okay so here's a little back story, I was diagnosed with OCD last year about 16 months ago. I've had OCD since I was really young too just wasn't diagnosed til later. But there's always been a special "bizareness' to my OCD that doctors call borderline psychotic.

It started around my senior year of high school when I was 17-18. I started worrying and obsessing that I've died before and living in a fake reality. I would do compulsions to ease this worry but I always questioned reality. Eventually the obsession turned into me sometimes believing that I'm dead and living in a false world full of fake people. So thats how this bizareness started and even the doctors thought this was abnormal for my OCD diagnosis.

Ever since I can remember I've always been able to hear another voice in my head. It's like an internal voice would talk to you but sounds different and sometimes puts me down or laughs at me or tells me to do bad things. They're similar to thoughts that aren't my own and sound different. Sometimes theres not even a voice but more of a "urge" or force pulling me to do bad things like kill myself, hurt other people, through water on people, and other "bad" things. I don't know where the voices or the force comes from sometimes I think its supernatural or a higher being.

I get paranoid sometimes too. I worry that people are poisoning my food and if i leave it out and don't guard it I won't eat it. I don't accept free food at places cuz I think they poisoned it. I also always think people are laughing at me or talking about me when they whisper or have something against me. I also sometimes feel like dark forces are after me, I can't explain what I mean by this but I just feel unsafe. I also often think robbers are in the house trying to kill me so I even do some compulsions and scream "hey I can see you" to lure the robbers out.

Whatever this is, is now a [U]was[/U] because I am treated. I take paxil cr for OCD and depression and used to take risperdal but now take abilify for OCD/possible other stuff. I also take Ativan for anxiety related issues. The other "voices" in my head besides my internal voice are gone and I no longer have the urge to do bad things. I am even getting an EEG tomorrow and an MRI and have no thoughts that they will harm me.

I feel like perhaps my brief usage of marijuana made it worse. When I smoke I completely hallucinate including visuals and hear things not just in my head but outside my head.

So basically I'm wondering, does this sound like just OCD or perhaps maybe some psychosis? either way it doesn't matter because I'm being treated for both. Thanks
Oh yeah I also don't have what people call S-OCD. I don't fear having schizophrenia or obsess over that. Oh and my OCD has been relatively under control while the rest of this was going on so that may help.
yea bro i had some of those symptoms. not sure how long it took you to figure out that some of that stuff isn't real but it took me a while.

if you understand its not real as its going on that is not psychosis. however if you go for periods of time thinking these things are real that is psychosis. that's how they explained it to me, and i'd bet the abilify you're taking is whats taking care of the problems you used to have.
Thanks for the reply. I'm actually feeling great now besides side effects from some of the meds (can't stop shaking). Basically what my psychologist who specializes in OCD said if I didn't have OCD it'd definitely be psychosis but there's such a thin line between poor insight OCD and mild psychosis that its hard to put a diagnosis. I've done some research and found that other people have poor insight with OCD to the point it becomes delusional and is pretty much OCD with some psychotic symptoms.

I feel very much blessed that I have recovered so well. (My ocd was VERY severe and paranoia was pretty bad).
hello hysteria
I have suffered withe ocd for over 25 years,and my mind,it is not mental illness,but its the minds way of protecting you from anxiety overload.The more I face up to my fears,and solve my problems,the lesser the ocd!I hope this helps you.because by facing my problems as best I can ive brought my ocd down from a 9 to about a 2!!
Yeah my OCD is almost completely well I wouldn't say gone but "minimized". I see one of the top OCD specialists in the country, or even the world. She's helped me face my fears and I'm much stronger against my OCD.

But she also fears that there's something there besides my OCD and depression. Thats why I went to another psychologist that sees people with psychosis. He gave me tips to fight my "auditory hallucinations" as he called it even tho I dont think its a hallucination because I just hear it in my head and never mistake it to be a real voice outside my head. I also take 20 mg of abilify now and that seems to have helped tremendously.
well see I get intrusive thoughts but these are little different..these are thoughts that aren't my own and rather are voices from other people. It literally can sound like people I know or of people I've never met. But I haven't experienced it since being on Abilify.

Besides last night when I heard several voices conversing in my head just talking about random stuff, one even sounded like it was over a loud speaker....idk its weird

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