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Below I have made a timeline up until now and showing the onset of my mental health decline; there seems to be a correlation between stress and anti-social behavior that triggered whatever is going on in my brain:


[b]2008[/b]
[U]May[/U]: friend I love goes to prom with someone else and then goes out with them, increasing OCD and paranoia with them not liking me as a friend
[U]June[/U]: friend is now spending all his time with this girl and he officially rejects me, which is the start of my cutting and major depressive phases
[U]Summer[/U]: Extremely stressful job, which has me a ticking time bomb
[U]Late August[/U]: Came out of the closet
[U]September[/U]: Hypomanic
[U]October[/U]: Tried to kill myself, major depressive
[U]November[/U]: Hypomanic
[U]December[/U]: Hypomanic

[b]2009[/b]
[U]January[/U]: Tried to kill myself, quit job (I'm a student btw)
[U]February[/U]: Major depressive; put on Risperdal
[U]March[/U]: Put on Abilify for 5 days, then on Seroquel; started talking to self
more and more
[U]April[/U]: Researched Schizophrenia and saw A Beautiful Mind; realized I was having auditoral hallucinations; paranoia worsened; hospitalized
[U]May[/U]: Increase in Seroquel to 400mg, helps paranoia, had first visual hallucination


Ya, it's a lot, but what I have noticed is that during the months between September and May, I have been extremely anti-social, stressed out, depressed, and at some times, suicidal.

I think that seeing A Beautiful Mind and researching Schizophrenia and Psychotic disorders was the tip of the ice burg and the onset of a psychotic disorder started in my mind.

This has been seen by auditoral hallucinations and a visual hallucinations. I had also realized that after hearing things that I have had that for years, but not badly, and that I have had considerable delusions/paranoia for years now that went unnoticed.

An example is that I would always think people were looking in my windows at me while I would either changing, or showering (window in my shower that people can see in, although it's on the way top of the shower since I live with my dad in a basement apartment).

I do feel that there was some OCD with the initial schizo-related extreme paranoia I had, although I do feel some of it was actually valid.

Due to the ever increasing stress, cutting, depression, anti-social behavior, lack of self-esteem, anxiety, paranoia, storing anger, past memories, hopelessness, and overall general unhappiness with my life has done something to contribute to me having chronic mental illness.

I'm just wondering what you guys think about this timeline, and explanation. I would go on in detail about my past memories, but that could literally turn out to be a novel of at least 50 pages.





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