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Schizophrenia Message Board

Schizophrenia Board Index

Sep 29, 2009
Hello - PLEASE reply to this. I don't care how large of small the replies are; I'm in need of a few answers to my great many questions...

I have paranoid ideations all the time. I have spoken on these forums already about having been diagnosed with psychosis NOS, (Not Otherwise Specified) meaning - I have been diagnosed as having psychosis but the doctors cannot decipher which illness... (Schizophrenia / Bipolar, etc)

Anyways; I'm sick of this psychiatry crap - I've been seeing psychiatrists for over 3 years - I've tried many different medications / treatments, you all know how it is... Even if you dont - I'm sure you understand the frustration - especially when you're having a hard time living with these paranoid thoughts...

[B]Okay - SO; I think too much[/B]. [B]I get anxious because I think too much - and slowly I become paranoid.[/B] I become paranoid about people thinking I am gay. That has happened MANY times now. It always seems to be the same thing too - I always think people think I'm gay... I've never ACTUALLY figured out if people were thinking that I was gay - BUT; its frustrating because I actually believe people hate me - or talk about me, etc...

One piece of advice people have shared with me, is to remind myself that I am simply, "NOT THAT IMPORTANT," to have everyone talking about me all the time... This works sometimes - but not all the time...

I find that these paranoid thoughts always get the best of me. I somehow - most of the time; find a way through them and I don't let it get me completely down... However - whenever it happens - I'm always on the lookout for what people are thinking / doing - that pertains to my paranoid nature. My thoughts speed up the moment something seems, "fishy," and suddenly its like all my conscious awareness, and insight into my paranoid problems - disappears... I get sucked into my own thoughts - and it DRIVES ME NUTS! And it drives my family and friends nuts!

Sometimes; I'll catch glimpses; as if I'm wrong about everything and all is well... I haven't had that in a long time - but MAN; I would love to experience those feelings once again... Its literally my only issue in life - and its holding me back from doing and being all that I can be. This is SO frustrating! Wherever I go - whenever I go; this problem always follows me. I know its not other people... But when I'm paranoid - its as if every time I've ever been paranoid comes back to life - and it verifies the current situation / circumstance; that I'm currently in...

I have pushed alot of people away because of this - and I have lost alot of respect in the eyes of my family... I hope to get this all back; but I know its not easy to change what other people think of me... And once again - that is MY problem... I always feel as though people think something about me that isn't true... And because of this - I get paranoid and I start to react to, "paranoid thoughts..."

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My QUESTION is this - I'm currently off of medications; and I'm getting paranoid thoughts. Regardless if they're paranoid delusions or not - I don't really care. As far as I'm concerned it isn't the DSM-IV that tells me if I'm delusional or not - it is a doctor trained with made up diagnosis's that tells me what I have. I just want to know - how to get these paranoid thoughts under control... I don't want to take medications anymore; my symptoms are not THAT severe - when I took the medications I got even more symptoms anyways... I'm asking if anyone knows of any methods of treatment / therapy that could help me get around my paranoid thoughts!


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