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ok thanks. sleep time now zzz :wave:
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Came to uni and because my lectures dont start until 2pm today went to macdonalds and had cappuchino. Then came to uni building then bought another cup of coffee, this time long black. Chose long black because I want maximum caffeine for one cup. After drinking two cups of coffee my mood improved and I feel like studying again. This is good and precisely what I was looking for when I decided to buy and drink coffee this morning.

I want to feel alert and energetic but after long black I actually feel little bit sleepy :( Just wait it out.

Maybe if I start reading something I'll notice a difference.

I was a bit anxious this morning in the train, but I soon remembered that I just need to relax and then things will work out.
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When I drink long black I get the opposite effect - I get sleepy.

So I should drink just one cup of cappucino and that's it.
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I think when reading difficult material it's important to remember what each sentence stated.

As for coffee I'll just chill until episode develops knownig that in just two and half hours I will be back to normal.

Well, is there a permanent once-and-for-all solution to the dystonic reaction that comes regularly every four to ten days? Let me think. I could change medication and if I get lucky... Or, the most plausible approach is to think that it is only a sizable discomfort for two and half hours. With cogentin, of course. I've been taking cogentin daily and I'll be having one later tonight before sleep, so...

Cogentin. Two tablets.

Lie down. Close my eyes. Notice the restless eyes. Notice the agitation. Notice you are tempted that your eyes might roll up. Agitation? 1hr...

1hr 30min mark. Stand up have a look around. Notice how you feel afraid of your surroundings. Your eyes are blurry. You lie down again. Close your eyes. 2hr mark. You notice calming effect of cogentin sinking in. But agitation returns.

15 mins later you find relief. Little uneasy but soon you'll be back to normal. 2hr 30 min mark. You realize you are fine now and you get up and go. End.

So far all episodes ended by 8:30PM. If this trend continues then I would say cogentin is the permanent solution I've been searching for.

Lying on the sofa downstairs when my parents are watching tv is the best place to be. Simply lie down and close your eyes and wait for agitation to fade away while listening to the tv.
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Today:
Took - :
Capuccino for:
mental alertness
Coca cola for:
energy
Will take at night:
2mg cogentin for:
preventing acute dystonic reactions
End.
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Well the final outcome is that I'm a chronic schizophrenic (ie. one who suffers from chronic schizophrenia). But isn't this an outcome made possible by misdiagnosis earlier on as a schizophrenic, which then put into effect by prescribing antipsychotic drugs?

I was suffering from clinical depression. I was depressed for years as a young adult. But I wasn't hearing voices or had hallucinations or delusions at this stage. I approached early intervention team with a claim that I'm suffering from 'schizophrenia'(quotation marks because that's what I said I'm suffering from). Do clinical depressions sometimes develop into full blown schizophrenia?

Taking antipsychotic medication has helped in the following ways. First, I'm no longer tired or sleepy during day time. Second, I'm not depressed as I was when I was younger. Third, I'm more organized and better at dealing with stressful situations involving university study. Fourth, my common sense has improved and I'm more rational in approaching my general day-to-day life.

How did antipsychotics made these positive changes in my brain chemistry? Let's assume that I had deficiency of serotonin since I was depressed for long periods of time. How can antipsychotic raise serotonin level? I'm at a loss at this because I don't know anything about serotonin and dopamine and other neurotransmitters and relationship between them. Well, I know that acetylcholine levels can increase to a toxic level while on an antipsychotic, as been the case for me suffering from acute dystonic reactions, like lookups.

With a big blank on how my imbalance of brain chemicals were adjusted by the antipsychotics, all I can say about it is to state the nature of my illness from my perspective. The nature of my illness includes compulsiveness, addictive feeling, dystonia, and akathisia. To elaborate little bit, long term depression has transformed itself into that of addictive compulsive feelings by intake of antipsychotics. And for reasons that I cannot understand, I continually suffer from combination of akathisia and acute dystonia while on these type of medications. Maybe, paranoia and delusions are preceded by depression in my case, and antipsychotics are helping in all of these regards. Delusions and paranoia and those kind of feelings are mixed in with akathisia and dystonia, creating a cocktail of pain and misery that comes at a regular basis.

How to be free from all of these sytmpoms, both the ones caused indirectly by antipsychotic medication and those that are intrinsic to progression of my illness? The best answer I can give as of now is that while on antipsychotics keep taking cogentin daily, hoping that that will have a preventative effect on akathisia and acute dystonia.

This was my two cents on my illness.
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I had my last attack at 4th and one before that at 1st, so that's three days in between. I'll look out for when successive attacks will happen. Since I'm taking cogentin daily as the balance of neurotransmitters is restored I would expect it to take more and more days till I get the attacks.
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Start: Take two cogentin.
1hr mark: Take one extra cogentin
End: Don't take anymore after total three tablets.
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Look out for if I taken two or three cogentin tonight as opposed to just one, then how many nights after that does the next one happen?





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