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Dear friend, I am sorry to hear you describe yourself in such a low way, and you have such low self esteem. Although I am a qualified health care professional I have to admit that this is not my area of studies. But I feel that I can give you a few suggestions that may help.

First of all as the other members already advised, you should seek help as soon as possible. As I am not from your country, I may not be fully aware from where you can get help (as this is not available at your school), but I suggest you contact your nearest health centre, or your social welfare dept, they might be able to refer you to the right direction. Demand help from your guidance teacher. Although this service might not be available at your school, they might still be offering help through other agencies.

Do not be gudgemental towards your parents. If they are about my age which I assume they are from your age, we grew up in a society where mental conditions are considered taboo and whoever seeks help will be stigmatized for life. Being a parent myself of 4 kids I am well aware that thank God younger generations are learning to be more tolerant to persons with these conditions. I believe that your parents are reacting this way as they are not fully aware of what you are passing through. They can't understand you because of the lack of education we received when we were teenagers ourselves. I suggest that you obtain information about this condition (from hospital websites) and without talking to your parents leave these notes where they can find them and read them. If they confront you about this don't answer back, tell them that you are only interested because you have a friend who needs help. Don't feel offended if they speak to you in ways you don't expect them to. I am sure that they mean no offence, I am sure that they passed through many sacrifices for you to see you grow into a nice young lady. I am also sure that if they were able to understand your position they would go to the end of the world to see that you are not passing through these problems.

You should never ever think about suicide. This is never an answer to one's problems. I understand that sometimes you feel depressed. Personally in the past I passed through moments of depression, not due to psychological problems, but due to chemical unbalance in my brain due to my health condition. I have never let myself become overcome by these problems, I looked up for ways that I could help me motivate myself. Start a new hobby. I suggest you see the film LOGAN which is a story about a boy who tries to commit suicide due to problems he had. I learned from this film that sometimes you are not aware of how much people around you love you and how prepared they are to do the utmost to help you in your problems. The coin always has two sides and sometimes what you perceive as lack of care or love from those around us is only just the way how we are interpreting things momentarily. This interpretation is not always correct and we can be mistaken too. Another film which is good for motivation, is BILLY ELLIOT. A story about a boy about your age who wanted to learn Ballet while his father wanted him to learn boxing. This is a good story that demonstrates that where there is a will there is a way.

I would like to thank you for the courage you demonstrated by writing this post. Through your writing I learned to be more understanding to empathise and try my best to help. I am going to send you a friend request through this site. I am always prepare do listen. I also suggest you make new friends. Friends who accept you for who you are. When I developed my condition which is considered as a disability, I looked at myself and realised that I am still the same person inside. I am not going to let myself become depressed due to how others perceive my condition. I started making friends on this web site, and although I take truck loads of treatments, I still consider myself healthy and refuse to follow society's norm that discriminate and outcasts the sick and the disabled people.

One other thing I would like to tell you :Never do drugs. Remember with drugs alcohol or any other form of abuse, you will only cause further problems, thus causing further deterioration to your health status.

This is all the time I have for now. I hope that you find my few poor words helpful, and start to feel better. Wish you luck,

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