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Schizophrenia Message Board

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I am married to a schizophrenic and it has gotten so bad over the years that it finally came to a head last month when he had a real severe psychotic episode and attacked me. He is also an alcoholic and either refuses to take the required amount of meds or he doesn't take them at all. He can chug down alcohol like I've never seen. He was verbally abusive most of the time. I would have loved to leave but I had no where to go and we have pets and I would not leave them. He would not help me do anything, physically or monetarily. He just turned 59. He also smokes cigs, been smoking since he was around 10, and has been a very heavy smoker.

We've been married for 13 years, and even though I've known him to be in a different state of mind I've never seen him have a psychotic attack. Scared the heck out of me. I poured some water on his face and patted him to maybe bring him back to reality (I'm not a nurse). Anyway, it didn't work. Most of the morning he was doing strange things, moving things, throwing perfectly good food in the trash, following me around making slashing movements across his throat, putting his face right next to mine, tapping me on the back or shoulder. He destroyed our vehicle insurance cards, ripped up his Medicare card, bent his debit card, and when he started to go into my purse that was more than enough for me.

I grabbed him and started slapping at his hands to keep him off my purse. He kept it up for a bit then grabbed my right arm near my wrist. I told him to let go but he wouldn't so I started hitting him and pulling away. I finally broke lose and then he went outside. I called the police and when they came he was arrested after I showed them my bruised arm. They took him to jail and immediately had him evaluated by a psych nurse. They then transported him to a hospital psychiatric ward where they kept him for 30 days. I immediately filed for a protection order. I have a court date soon.

The one time I talked to him in the hospital (before the protection order was in effect) all he did was blame me for everything. I was the reason he drank. How dare I call the police and do the things I was doing. He said he would tell them how cruel I was to him by hitting him and pouring water on him.

By nature I am a very calm and quiet person and I tend to feel sorry for people and sometimes I think it's my fault if someone else does things they shouldn't. I know he's mentally ill, but he was not always this bad. He was so wonderful when we got married. I think the alcohol did him in.

I know he's out of the hospital because I saw him on the road, but don't know where he might be staying. We're not supposed to talk to each other because of the protection order. He has SSDI so he does have money. And I also have SSDI so I'm okay. I have a vehicle and he has a vehicle.

I have to be more aggressive at my court hearing with him. I'm so sorry all this has happened, and he's ill but I just can't take this anymore. It's not my fault he chose to drink or to stop taking his meds. I don't believe one is supposed to drink while taking meds.

I hope I get through this court hearing alright. I'm a nervous wreck. I am going to start filing for divorce as soon as I can also.

Thanks for letting me vent.

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