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Sexual Health - General Message Board

Sexual Health - General Board Index

I'm sorry, but how can you say that your sex life is good with him? It sounds like he only cares about himself and couldn't care less about your enjoyment of sex. It doesn't sound like you even need him - just you and your vibrator will do. I'm speaking from experience and unhappiness with myself in my first marriage. I mostly cared about my orgasm. It was over 30 years ago, but I don't think I was as bad as your husband is. Probably close though.

I was a lot different after my first wife left me and changed completely, caring more about how much the woman enjoyed the sex that about how good it was for me. It took the shock of my first wife leaving for me to change my attitude about sex and other things in a relationship. Please note that I'm not suggesting that you leave him. I'm just describing my experience in my attitude.

My wife has told me that many of her partners between her first husband and me would just have their orgasm and then roll over and go to sleep. Others were like me with her and would cuddle for 10 to 30 minutes after the intercourse was done. Many also didn't care if she had an orgasm or not.

Does he ever give you oral orgasms before the intercourse begins? If you find it difficult to have vaginal orgasms then he should give you oral orgasms before he starts with intercourse. Have you suggested that if he doesn't do it? I had one girlfriend who could only have oral orgasms, but she was very happy with our sex because I did that for her every time we had sex. I do that for my wife, even though she can have orgasms with intercourse. By the way, him giving you oral, combined with using a G-spot vibrator, can result in a very intense orgasm for you.

The other thing is the position that you use. It is very selfish for him to only use the one that he liikes and not the one or ones that you like. You should use multiple positions, either a different one each time or by using more than one position in any one session. Switching positions can make the man last longer so that the woman has more time to have an orgasm.

The 2 of you really do need to discuss this calmly. If he is not willing to listen to your needs and try to satisfy those needs then perhaps counseling is in order. This type of being left unfulled is going to make you feel worse over time if not corrected now. Sometimes it takes us guys (and occasionally women) getting a good psychological smack in the back of the head to wake us up to our partner's needs.

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