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[QUOTE=bethsheba;3607154]and I suspect the recollections arose when they did out of a subconscious need to protect their children from the perpetrator.[/QUOTE]

This makes complete sense. Fascinating. I can imagine the mothers identifying with their daughters at that age and it bringing back memories, as well.


Thank you, Bethsheba, for your kind and thoughtful reply to my post. I wish I had insurance that would cover a sleep study. Perhaps after I graduate and am working I could do it, in a year or so. It seems I have no natural sleep cycle or sleep hormones. I have pulled all-nighters for school, and still, the next night, have stayed up til past midnight, or 3 or 5 a.m. The loss of sleep still does not necessarily get me into bed any earlier the next night.

I am an incest survivor and have wondered if this is the problem. I can't see how it wouldn't contribute. I've done a lot of counseling for it, but of course, it's still painful. One counselor suggested that perhaps the grief hit so hard at night because my mother is no longer here to provide any protection at night. However, I just feel it as overwhelmingy grief at bedtime. I really don't notice incest survivor pain and thoughts surfacing at that time, but I think you are right on about it being common among survivors. How could it not but play a role in my sleep difficulties. Thanks for writing about this.

An interesting turn since posting this a few days ago. It was helpful to write and post what I did, to be able to move forward to the next thougths on this. I have been watching "Judge Judy" of all things, recently (I used to hate that show!) A lot of the cases are of people who are not financially responsible, who have gotten themselves into hot water with borrowing money from relatives or breaking loan agreements. Judge Judy really blasts them for not being financially responsible.

Well, it made me think about how I'm staying up at night and sleeping so much of the day, not getting on with my life, and borrowing money from my father instead. I have partial disabilities that make it challenging to find work when I'm not in school. But hearing Judy blast people for not being responsible for themselves has been good "reality check" therapy, which is why I've been watching. So I decided I have to stop going to bed late, as it is interfering with supporting myself. (I'm in school part-time this summer, but without financial aid for summer, and need to find PT work.)

I decided/realized I have no excuse for borrowing money when I am going to bed so late, and am going to start going to bed at 9 p.m. nightly, so I'm up for a full day, and also have time to exercise in the morning before doing other things (best time for me.)

So for the past 2 nights, I haven't made it to bed quite by 9 p.m. (first night, 11 p.m., woke up an hour later, was awake til 9 a.m., then slept til 3 p.m.; yesterday, in bed 9:30 p.m., slept til 12:45 a.m., then for an hour or two early this morning.) It's difficult being restless and awake so many hours at night, but I'm gradually shifting this.

Realizing I have to push through this problem and be responsible for myself is helping. I think it's true what they say, "The early bird gets the worm" and Franklin's "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a woman healthy, wealthy, and wise." I think my life will be a heck of a lot better if I just require myself to do this, no matter how hard it is at first.

Thanks for reading all of this, and for your help and kind support.

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