Should I even bother

I'm 44 years old. I have an appointment to see my NS in 4 weeks. I'm pretty sure he will say surgery in my neck since MRI says Displaced Spinal Cord and Dural Sac. Given my history, should I even bother, I've got/had neuro symptoms for so long already, what's the point? Should I just get a reservation at the local nursing home for total care? I feel like that is just around the corner for me... I don't take pain medicine or muscle relaxers. I either have adjusted to chronic pain, or I don't have that much just occasionally I notice it being bad. I had L4-5 micro discectomy twice - once in 2003 again in 2005. I have right foot drop since 2005. Right calf mild atrophy. I had Guillain-Barre 2008. Also MRI of brain in 2008 says remote infarct right middle cerebral artery (I think this was probably in late 1990's when doctors said i was having hemiplegic migraines I was 28 years old.) I have caudle equina since 2010, bladder straight catherization, neuropathy legs, saddle anesthesia but stabbing pain in groin sometimes. Use wheelchair most of the time. I fall down all the time. I was checked for ALS in ALS Clinic in 2009 and they said no not ALS. I had/have babinski reflex present bilaterally, tone increased, absent bilateral ankle reflexes. Since 2010 I have been getting progressively worse. My symptoms now are head pressure, numbness in right side of face at times, sudden stab head pain, vision changes (found out I have central serous retinopathy and cataracs), memory loss, jumpy/scared easy, depression, I shuffle walk, all movements are very slow. (takes 20 minutes to make sandwich, just slow not from pain,) neck pressure, arm and leg twitches. Right side lower rib bee-stinger pains occasionally. Tight or tearing sensation in thighs. Feet up to mid calf turn bluish-black when I stand up. Hands and arms weak. When I turn my head I get huge pressure in brain. My MRI's last week said Brain: focal lesion adjacent to right atrium likely dilated perivascular space. Cervical: C3-4 lateral bulging disc. C4-5 bulging disc laterally on the right side. C5-6 large extra dural lesion is seen on the right side in the lateral recess area. This is a combination of bony spur and soft disc. right neural foramen is stenotic. Spinal cord is displaced. C6-7 bulging disc toward the left side. Thoracic: Small extra dural lesions are seen on left side at T6-7 and T7-8, these are small disc bulging. Lumbar: L4-5 type 2 endplate degenerative changes and degenerative disc disease are seen. Disc space is markedly narrowed. Laminotomy changes to the right side. Midline disc protrusion is seen. L5-S1 left paracentral disc bulging.