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Re: Firefighter_101
Jul 27, 2003
Well alright...since I'm to the point of no return pain-wise tonight I'll tell you the story of how I almost burnt the house down. I didn't know it was illegal, I swear. Ignorance is no excuse huh?

OK, so on my discharge orders from the hospital, my doc said I'm supposed to have a "one-a-day." So, being the natural blonde that I am and trying to kick a 25 year habit of smoking, I figure that means I can have one smoke a day (which I may regret next week when I have my xrays done!) So, the new rule of the house is no smoking in the house. We have to go outside. So I went outside on the front porch to have my one-a-day around 7 or 8 last night. Since Colorado has been in a pretty severe drought for the past few years, we're not allowed to plant flowers without a permit, so I have all these flower pots sitting on the porch with nothing in them but dirt. Perfect ashtray...right? NOT!!! That dirt has little sticks and stuff in it too and it started smoldering. Well, this particular pot happened to be plastic (the only plastic pot on the whole porch of course!)

So anyways, hours go by and I'm oblivious to what's going on on my porch. My next door neighbor has been out of town and asked me to keep an eye on his house while he's gone. And from the extra bedroom where I currently reside, I have a perfect view of his front yard (We both live at the very end of the cul-de-sac) So, I see headlights last night around 10:30, and I dutifully go check to see who the heck is at his house that late when he's not home. I took two steps out onto the porch and I see this cloud of smoke and I'm like...hmmmmm....what's that?!!! I look at my now red hot and smoking pot and realized half of it had melted and these red hot pieces of plastic were dropping down onto my wooden porch and into other pots that had dried up sticks from last year in them and they were all burning embers! 3 pots were just smoking away on my wooden porch. So I did what any good firefighter would do and got my biggest mixing bowl and extinguished them. It only took about 7 trips. Then I put them out in the rain to finish the job. You may ask why I didn't just get the hose, well, it was raining (for a change) and I didn't want to get wet! But these pots were under the covered part of the porch where it was dry, very dry. So, whaddya think? Could I have caught my house on fire?

Good thing I was watching the neighbor's house for him or I would have never went out there last night!

The End.

P.S. You do know what they call a blonde that dyes her hair brown don't ya? Artificial intelligence!!! lol, I'm really a smart blonde, I just do blonde things sometimes. It's the nature of the hair color ;)

I volunteer to hold up the cue cards to tell everyone when to applaud during the show. We're going to need to be sure to invite all our neurosurgeons too so when we rip the hardware out of our necks from falling on our rear ends they'll be there to put us back together

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