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I've started this post a million times or like three times or something, but anyway, I'm a 17 year old male and I like to think that I'm a nice guy. I really love girls and not only in the way that most guys love girls. I love them as friends and a good majority of my friends are females...well at least they start out that way and sometimes that is the problem....

My best friend Christian has been my best friend for 8 years, since 3rd grade. We are VERY close, we're like beavis and butthead. Anyway, right before last summer, he met Maggy. He was OBSESSED with her. He thought she was so perfect for him and they started "talking". Then he introduced us with the purpose of me talking to her about him and putting in a good word etc. However, we started talking... a lot.. After only a week or so we were hanging out and talking on the phone much much more than her and Christian and we would talk on the phone until 4 in the morning sometimes. We'd look forward to getting off of work because we knew we would see each other until midnight, then talk on the phone until at least 3 in the morning. Anyway, i loved her so much as a friend and the thought of her being more than a friend didn't really cross my mind because I was aware of my best friend's obsession with her. However, he started becoming very uncomfortable and jealous with this and we assured him we were just friends, because that was what we were. However, one night we told each other that we liked each other (midway through summer vacation) but did not pursue due to Christian. Oh yeah, she had recently gotten out of a year long relationship with a guy named Aaron and wasn't quite ready for another bf and she told him that in november after school started and that crushed him. He never really talked to her again. Then I started dating this girl named Emily in January or so. We dated for three weeks and then started going out. The day we started going out we fooled around quite a bit (mistake) and I told Maggy because I tell her everything. She then paused like she was in shock (i could tell even though we were on the phone) and then hung up. I drove straight to her house to find out she was crying and i gave her a huge hug and we realized that we were meant to be together. We were so perfect for each other. So then we went out and she broke up with me a week later for another guy and I still haven't gotten over her completely. This summer we haven't talked at all since her and her bf of 4-5 months hang out 24-7. I questioned my morals after dating the girl my best friend liked for so long. Anyway, first time is understandable but the second time....

Then recently Christian met Brittany. He had a few gf's since Maggy but he said that this was the first time he felt this way about a girl since Maggy. BTW, me and Christian remained best friends despite what he called the "Maggy situation", probably because he had another gf at the time he found out. Anyway, now the same thing is happening with me and Brittany except worse. She tells him that we are only friends even though I sneak out to see her, talk to her constantly and hang out with her all the time. Plus, we admit to each other that we like each other and we have fooled around, but not too badly at all. Just a little 'hands under the clothes' kinda things and kissing and all that good stuff. She can't stand him anymore, but she leads him on. But I'm not one to talk since I don't want to tell him what's going on. He has expressed severe discomfort with me and brittany hanging out, with good reason and we, like the a-holes we are, assure him that they're is nothing to worry about.

I don't know what to do... I didn't mean for it to happen this way, people just find love in the weirdest of places sometimes and its not something that you can make go away or prevent, it just happens. Now I'm really questioning my morals because we continue to lie to him and we continue to sneak around behind his back. Just the other day, I dropped him off in the middle of us hanging out with some BS excuse just so i could go see Brittany and he just sat at home doing nothing.

I know, this is bad. I just don't know what to do. I know people will tell me that i should tell him, but i hope you all realize how much easier it is to say that then to do it. Put yourself in my situation, could you really lose your best friend that easily? I can't. I know I may not be acting like a very good best friend right now, but I don't know what to do. I don't mean to hurt him and I know that if I tell him, it'll hurt him. I don't know what to do.... the thing that worries me most is that at times I don't even feel that bad, but most of the time i do... All help is appreciated, thanks :)





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