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Fishy has raised some good points I failed to consider, but I don't completely agree with her. Sometimes when a female friends become jealous of you - I find, usually the reason is that you're the center of male attention - they are capable of doing some very malicious things, and that goes beyond spreading rumors or venting. They can try to steal your boyfriend away, they can flirt with the guys giving you attention like crazy, even go as far as making a fool of themselves in trying too hard to take all attention, recognition, and even respect from you. You see their unhappy faces when they see you happy and well liked. You see them wanting to drag you down to their miserable level. Cats...

One other thing - they tries to imitate everything you do, perhaps in hopes of eventually having the things they see you have that they want for themselves. Whoever says that imitation is the highest form of flattery - total disagreement. It's not remotely flattering, and your imitators insults you by stealing your uniqueness and making you commonplace. I find imitations very annoying. Some people don't do it deliberately (Which I won't elaborate right now.) Others do, and in my life they're always women, always wanting to be me in some or all aspects.

I've gone through some very bad experiences with women. I wish it weren't true, but it's USUAL that women I've met either avoid me after a while, absolutely refuse to be friends with me, or they smile and pretend to be friendly and acts as spies, so later anything I confide in them gets used against me. It happened too often; I almost don't trust women anymore. At the risk of sounding conceited, my Mom says that it's because I'm beautiful, talented and very intelligent - the total package. Then I thought to myself, there must be many women out there who fits this description - beautiful, smart, and talented in the arts. Maybe I'm not the only one suffering from female envy. Maybe there are girls like me who can only make friends with guys because their fellow female cats feel threatened by them to invite "total packages" into their lives. They feel threatened by potential competition, and the underlying insecurity certainly doesn't help.

Fortunately, I do have ONE real girlfriend who isn't mean to me, and I treasure her friendship very, very much. I also know women who aren't controlled by their envy, or who feels self confident enough to not envy those who seem to have more than they do. They're wonderful girls and I treasure them as human beings very much (in contrast to the nasty, meanspirited, fake-smiling, insincere and flirty women who tries to scratch wounds at my heart as much as possible.) As for other women, I give them the chance to have a healthy relationship with me, as I'm always open for friendship. But if there's any sign of envy or uncalled for malice towards me, I don't hesitate to cut them from my life. As of now, I don't have much female companions, and mostly male friends who don't let envy make them do malicious things.

I recommend this book - mean girls grown up. Frankly, I think there should be more discussions about envy, as it have some very real life implications and many people bears the battlescar from that, as I do. However it seems to me that not too many people are comfortable to really open up and talk about it, which is quite unfortunate.





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