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I don't know if this helps but your situation hit very close to home. I was actually the ex in my scenerio.

My ex-boyfriend and I had a very long and complicated relationship but we were closer to each other than to anyone else in this world. When we broke up suddenly, he almost immediately started seeing another girl and they became serious quickly. But because we were so close, and I wanted him back, we remained close friends and on a couple of occasions we slept together but he went back to her.

Finally, they broke up and for a short time we got back together and kept it on a need to know basis. Only very close friends knew. I knew that he was still in love with her so deep down I knew it wouldn't last but I still loved him as well. So we had a sexual relationship and later found out that he also slept with her during that time. So basically, he was two timing the both of us and telling each of us that he's only friends with the other. I wrote her a letter explaining everything and told her that I'm done with him and what she does from here on, he's her problem.

Well, she said she didn't believe me (he denied it) but I know deep down she knew I was telling the truth. She chose to stay with him and now they're together and miserable.. but together. They even have a son so they're pretty much tied for life. She loves him a lot but she'll never trust him again and she told some friends of ours that the fact that he slept with me still haunts her to this day.

Sorry about rambling on... not sure any of that helped. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that he may very well love you and want to be with you. If he wanted her, he'd be with her. But that doesn't mean that you can trust him. Give him the benefit of the doubt but keep your eyes open because you never know what might be going on behind your back. Ask him to cut all ties with her since they obviously still have a sexual attraction to each other. If he refuses, then dump him and move on because he's not worth your time. If he really loves you, he would respect your feelings and make you his priority.
Thanks for all the replies! Yeah, I know it's just like Ross and Rachel . . . It might be funny if it only wasn't ahppening to me! As for an update on the situation, my boyfriend and I are still incredibly happy together, and very much in love. We have talked a lot about the situation and I know from the way he's talking that he is really and truly sorry. His ex is slowly backing down and was even civil to me the other day. I think things will work out, although it still really hurts me to think of what he did in the past.


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