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It is good to hear that you're patching things up with your longtime friend. It's still peculiar that she would pick sides so quickly and easily (it seems that way from your initial post) in your dispute against Kendell. A true friend steps back a bit, looks at both sides, then sifts the pros and cons of both to make a judgement beneficial to you. (Why look at both sides? Because what if you were wrong? Then not only were you a fool for being wrong, but now you're a bigger fool for not admitting.) It's even more peculiar (as quickly and easily as she has picked) that the side she picked was not yours. But, oh well. You two are now doing better, so I digress on this topic...

This Kendell is not a good person at all (though, it's clear that you don't need my say-so on that). I can see your perspective if you don't want to report her suspicious actions (her possibility of spiking the homecoming punch) to a teacher or any other school staff. Those that "snitch" don't have very good raps. But, still, you know that's the right thing to do. Perhaps you can notify the principal without letting him/her know it's you? Maybe through an anonymous letter or phone call tipping him/her off to Kendell's behaviour?

If this Kendell is as attention-craved as you note her to be, then perhaps she has already created for herself a notorious reputation amongst the school students, faculty and staff. You just might be surprised how many people share the same distrust that you have of her.

As for your counselor, it is unsure what was said between you 2. Either he/she truly was insensitive to you or you took his/her words too harshly. Concerning your classes, unless it's part of the procedure, nobody but the teacher can bar you from a class. Concerning your fiance, 2 things: 1) If you two truly are soulmates, then nothing will seperate you. You may be parted for a while, but you will always return to each other. So just laugh at anyone or anything that questions your love. No need to be mad. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. 2) (Don't be insulted by this one. Just like rules, if others did not do this, then it wouldn't be mentioned.) Don't make the mistake of marrying to prove something (i.e. prove to the counselor that he/she was wrong about your engagement). You should marry for the simple reason of love.

Addressing your issue with your father, the saying "age doesn't matter" may hold true, but that implies towards people that love each other. In your father's case, thoughts such as "no means no" and "statatory rape" (if your friend's younger than 18) should be playing in his mind. You did well to tell someone about his frame of mind; extremely well since it was your grandmother (HIS mother, presumably?). A shame that she changed the focus away from the specific issue of your father's attraction to the general issue of you and your father's regular argument, almost (if not completely) ignoring the first. But then again, perhaps her style is to discreetly discuss that with him. It is a more tactful approach as opposed to a "lynch gang" from the family.

With all the things going on in your life, perhaps you should keep a regular journal. A journal does more than allow you to vent your emotions on paper, for you to reflect later on. Journals are legal documentations that may be used in court. It must be regularly maintained (i.e. at least once a day at a certain time). Try to write down the 5 W's (who, what, when, where, why) involved in the day, no matter how insignificant. By keeping a journal, you're not "snitching". How can you? It's your own personal journal. But you can use it when you need to. Say, for example, if Kendell says that you did something that you know you did not? Then you could refer to your journal as to where you were, who was with you, and so on. Your journal could simply be Emails to yourself. The Email, once sent, will contain an unquestionable date and time stamp (making it even more authentic and trustworthy).

But enough of my ramblings. I know that I haven't covered everything that you had wished to. Nor have I given you everything that you want to hear. But I do hope that what I have given helps. Hopefully, others will have comments/ideas/solutions to your dilemmas.

Aloha! :wave:

[This message has been edited by Valhalla (edited 09-22-2002).]





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