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Hi everyone. I am an 18 year old female that has just graduated from high school June of this year. I live with my parents and my little brothers. Right now, I am without a job or license. Bad for me. Also, I have been seeing my boyfriend (weíll call him Tyler) for about six months now. Tyler and I want to move out of state to be closer to his mom and Tyler wants to attend college. Iíd like to as well. Tylerís mother is very sick with lupus and a few other illnesses. Tyler has been very adamant about moving back to Arizona (he lived there for five years of his life and moved back to Ohio his senior year of high school). I went with him on a vacation this summer to meet his mom and I must say, I love it out there! I have this strange yearning to live in Arizona. Itís almost like a dream.

Back to life here: My parents are not very friendly people at all. Even when Tyler and I first met, they were never approving of him. He is a wonderful guy who helps me whenever possible. I just donít understand why they have this weird attitude about him. He was an honor-roll student in school and never got in any trouble. They invited Tyler to dinner a few times only to give him the cold stare and made no effort for pleasant conversation. After that first dinner we attended, my father made fun of my boyfriend ruthlessly for no apparent reason. He always does this. My father has often upset me because of his behavior and Iíve tried to tell him, ďPlease knock it offĒ but he usually stops for a day or so and begins again soon there after. My parents have always hurt me by saying ďYouíre a loser, You will amount to nothing in life, and etc etcĒ I have thought about suicide many times because I am truly starting to believe this. I donít want to sound like a complaining little brat because Iím not. I am honestly trying to make something of my life. Two weeks ago, I went to take my license test and failed. Iíve been working to find a job around here. The only problem is there is very little opportunity for work right now.

Tyler wants to get me out of this house so I wonít have to worry about my parents or family pulling me down and hurting my self esteem. Tylerís father has even offered to help me start fresh. But, I feel trapped in my situation. I feel this overwhelming need to stay with my family although I want to get out and start a new life. If I find a job and my parents take me to the job everyday, this would only trap me and Iím in danger of losing the only thing good to me in life. Tyler canít stand around and wait forever because his mother is dying and he must be there for her. Iím making myself sick over this situation and I donít have any friends to talk it over with. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Please donít take this as my effort to complain and get attention. It really isnít this. I want some good honest advice from someone who has either went through this situation or just wants to donate some time to answering. I will be thankful of any responses. Thank you so much for reading.

(edited for typo) :-p

[This message has been edited by kanny18 (edited 10-16-2003).]

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