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tdty123 you need to chill out. literally. she is YOUR girlfriend. she is with you. if she did not feel strongly for you, then she wouldnt be with you in the first place. if you get jealous over an exboyfriend. then that is understandable. but he is her exboyfriend, not yours. you are being very much a control freak. she is not your property. she is a person. how would you feel if she said she didnt want you to watch tv at a certain hour? or said you cant eat this certain kind of food? its annoying as hell.

she is your girlfriend, not your wife. you are 15. not in your 20s or your 30s or even 40s. you have no reason to worry about her cheating on you. she has friends who are guys. that is the inevitable. you cant change that. no matter what you do. there will always be another guy around her. wether friend, cousin,brother, old flame, etc.

if you dont trust her. then you are gonna be very alone in the world. may sound extreme , but you gotta get over this. wont be easy. but you gotta control your emotions. if you trust her but not the guys. then until you see someone grab her or harass her or anything of that sort. then you have the right to be pissed. you have the right to kick the guys ***. but if its just hand holding, a touch of the shoulder, a hug, a peck on the cheek. then you are just plain controlling. you are 15. you need to ligthen up. i know she is your first real girlfriend. and things seem too good to be true and that you might lose her to just about anything. but you gotta have confidence in her. because she will probably wind up getting jealous if she sees you talking to some other girl. wether flirtatious or not. she will probably get jealous. so what you are feeling is normal. but once it gets to a certain degree, thats when you need to just distance yourself from her. and get a hold of yourself. and think back and see if you can honestly say to yourself that you can trust your girlfriend. then you are fine. but she is a human being, not a possession.

i mean im not saying your a bad guy. cause i mean its very common and very understandable to be jealous.but it can only go so far, till it makes your girlfriend uncomfortable and the people (guys) who are her friends. cause they will be like oh cwap! here comes your boyfriend we better go. and you are gonna make a bad reputation for yourself. and people will talk.

cause it could go to the point. where maybe this girl is hitting on your girlfriend. maybe this girl is a lesbian , maybe she finds your girlfriend attractive. are you telling me that if you see girls touching your girlfriend , that you are gonna ban her from girls as well?

you cant control her life like that. you cant make her lose her friends. you cant make her feel uncomfortable by being with others.

TRUST. thats basically all that it comes down to.
She has told you she doesn't like being told what to do. She has told you she feels conflicted with not wanting to make you jealous but not being able to be herself with her friends. That seems pretty clear that she's uncomfortable with the extent to which you want to control how other people deal with her. Can I ask why you don't put your arm around her? It may not be natural to you, and that's ok, but some people are more touchy-feely than others. Girls run up to each other and throw their arms around each other and such all the time, give little hugs, put their arms around each other, etc. Some boys do with with their female buddies as well. Is there one particular boy who does it a lot? Has she or this boy done anything to make you think they are more than just friends, or want to be? It's hard to give really accurate advice without seeing how your girl behaves with her male friends, but if I were you, I'd ask three or four trusted friends of mine to witness this arm-around-the-shoulder exchange and ask them if they would be jealous in your position. Ask some girls, too. If most of them say no, then perhaps you need to check your perspective. Try to look at it from her side. Now, if he kisses on her, or puts his arm around her shoulder and leaves it there while he sits and talks to her, or if he puts his hand on her thigh or something like that, that's crossing the line. But an innocent little hug hello or "wow, you got an A on that test?! Good job! (little arm-around-the-shoulder hug) is nothing to worry about. I mean, basically is seems you're asking her to tell all her male friends when they go to give her a little hug or pat her on the back for something:"Stop! you can't touch me at all, my boyfriend doesn't like it." I think that's a little unreasonable, and I personally wouldn't do it.





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