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[QUOTE=journalistic]Ah. The problem lies with how convoluted and complicated the three-way fighting has gotten. There are probably a million stories just like yours. I think we've all been through similar problems in middle/high school.

Here's the thing -- it's never fun to lose a friend you care for. By coming here and spilling your guts, by spending your free time to fix things, this all shows you are a good friend and really want things to work out. But what you also need to understand is that there is a certain way to talk to people to resolve issues.

You need to disregard the past. You can't change what has been said or done. You can't keep placing blame or pointing fingers just because she has hurt your feelings. Clearly you still care enough to want to be friends with her, and we all make mistakes and say/do things that we will regret later. And when we're young and for the first time a guy really shows interest in us, we get so caught up in puppy love that we sometimes forget who was truly there for us all along.

If I were you, I'd send her a long email (or give her a long note), apologizing and completely forgiving for what has been said and done in the past. Let her know that she means a lot to you and that you will be there to talk to if she needs you. Do not mention what she has done in the past, do not bring up any current little tiffs or mean things she has done at school because that will defeat the purpose and really turn her off.

If she still responds to you negatively, then I'd say give it time and let her come to you. At that point, you will have done everything possible to salvage the friendship, and it is up to her to come to you if she would like to make things right again.

I know school can be hell if you have trouble with friends, so I'm really hoping everything works out for you three.[/QUOTE]
i really like the idea and have long considered it but i'm still hurt by what she has done and annother thing that she does is bring up the past. for instance, she always recalls a time one of my other friends ditched her to go hand out with another person, and this was in 5th grade! so i'm worried that if i apologize she'll think i was responsible for all this fighting (which i recently foud out she does) and use this as an excuse to belittle me in front of others. i've also noticed that she is only interested in this fighting in public where she can yell and put a show for everyone but in private she has nothing to do with me. so i'm considering if she's really worth all this cause friends do come and go

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