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I am now 19 years old, now i wasn't like any normal thirteen year old. My mom is and always will be my best friend. When i was thirteen I wasn't surrounded by all the drugs and the drinking... NOt even clothes that showed more skin that it does now.. I don't understand how the age now is getting to the point wehre young boys and girls are starting to do un-ruley things!!! My mom looked thorugh my stuff once and found something so personal and so private to me!!! She wrote me this long letter and sent it to me telling me how I put her heart in a blender and destroyed all the trust that she ever had in me.. It hurt so bad i was so angry at her. her excuse was " i was looking for some paper" Now ive never tried drugs, i have tried drinking, def not the thing for me. maybe it was the way I was raised, I think that you are doing a great thing. Ya you could lose your daughters trust by looking through her diary. But you are a concerned paren't and do want to know whats going on... Im not angry or up set about you doin't that. Every mother and child go through terrible stages. I do trust my mom with all my heart, you won't lose your daughters trust forever. Don't tell her you looked through her stuff, but you need to be stern!!! you need to sit her little butt down and explain to her that she should not be engagin in these activities!!! Explain to her the consequences, and yes you sould have her watch the movie" thirteen" it explains so much. My mom was stern on me but shew as also lenient. She raised me well eough to where id do soemthing wrong, get punished, I couldn't go to my room cuz i had stuff to do in there. LIke other posts said, have a girls night my mo and i have those every monday, we get lunch, coffe and do things together, not all relationships work that way, but it could. Yea your daughter is going through stages, that she will go through, and she could be doing it because of what she is around. No paren't can absolutly stop their child from doing un ruley things, but you can help prevent it. and I don't quite agree with.. I dont' know who wrote it, but dno't let her curfew be 12:00 THAT IS WAY to late for a 13 year old. make it 9:00 or 10. And as she begins to mauture or prove she is changing, extend the time, extend her privleges. Shes gonn probobly say she hates you, but deep inside she doestn't. She'll say the crullest things that would could destroy you, but in the end shes gonna realize that you probobly saved her. That is my opinion. I dnt' know maybe its because I didnt' go through it, but i do know i got punished and it sure helped me straighten out. Dont always go through her diary either, graudally bring up things that you "think" she's doing and she'll probobly admit them to you herself. she is probobly scared does want someone to talk to but doesnt' know how because she fears what you could do or say to her. But just be there for her, you might get angry, but yelling and screaming won't make it better, do that in private time or when you both are calmed down.. She is at a fragile stage experimenting. don't let her get too far out of reach. you do need to keep a hold on her, remember she is only 13. I hope this helped, and I aplogise to everyone else if I seemed rude that wasn't wahat I was trying to do..*sigh* I really hope that everything goes well good luck.. Keep us posted-chrystal
p.s geek i agree with what your saying, but not. I thnk she should be punished, if shes not punished she could end up doing worse things, or she might feel her mom doesn't even care enough to stop her, don't make it too extreme punishing but dont not punish her, you need to

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