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[COLOR=Blue][COLOR=Blue][FONT=Georgia]My friend Paulina was going out with my now best friend. He is always there and i love him but not that sort of love. i love him like my brother. The thing is i know he is crazy about me, thats what is Ex (paulina) said. i have messed around with him a while back, kind of sexually. i guess friends with benefits, and i didnt know what i was doing then. but i like this guy nic, and i need to be fair to my best friend, and tell him that nothing will happen between us, we can only friends, i have known Nic since August and since we first me he has practically fallen in love with me. I have not always had the same feelings at first i wanted nothing to do with him, that i started talking to him on the phone (he called about 5 times a day no joke) and so i would talk to him for a few min, that led to about an hour. Now we are hardly ever off the phone. well he knows i like him and i obviously know he likes me. this guy if you have read my past post said he would wait for me for the next four months if i wanted then he said a few days ago he would wait for me til after high school and im only a freshman. i do believe him, he is very much a one woman man and he clearly knows what he wants. well i need to let my best friend know that im going to be goin[/FONT]g out with this guy and to [/COLOR]please accept it and not let it ruin our relationship. I dont want to lose my bestfriend but i cant lose nic either. this guy is amazing, he is the sweetest person i have ever me. i really cant do any better than him. so how can i do both. where should i tell my best friend he drives so should i wait until i we are in a car together and can talk and how should i put my words together. i need to do this soon because i believe i need to befair to him. thanks and please help me.
thanks :confused:[/COLOR]
well he does know about Nic, they sorta get along, now and then Nic tells me he doesnt like him but then sometimes he likes him. My best friend Donnie is okay with him, and so he knows Nic, i havnt actually said anything about Nic to Donnie but i have hinted that we should hook him up with someone or get him and his ex back together because i know that they do love eachother, in some sense. yes i have drawn the lines between us sexually. and i am sorta a big flirt not with just anyone but with people i am comfortable with like Donnie, but i am trying as hard as i can not to flirt, i cant help it really , but i have to try. I dont want to give him mixed messages. With Donnie whenever i ask him what is wrong he kinda shruggs and says nothing, but i know there is something wrong, so i guess i will have to drag it out of him, any suggestions on how to make Donnie be more open about his feelings instead of shrugging it off? I tell Donnie i love him all the time, and ya i do but i dont love him in that sense, is it ok to tell him i love him, i have even told him in the past that i love him like a brother. so is it ok to use that phrase? Nic does know aobut the situation, he said if i dont take care of it he would let him know when i am around so i cant back out, he said it had to be done so be brave and let him know. So i am trying my hardest to let him know but i am just scared of the outcome. so if there are any other suggestions please help me. and thank you Shy Bunny

P4BB
Hey P4BB:
Judging from your other thread (on sex), I can see that you're already really close with Nic and you're pretty much seeing him?
Your bestfriend seems to be really understanding since he is aware of your feelings for Nic (as of now, you just need to tell him straight off that you're going to date Nic, correct?). It's good that you know your own personality, that you tend to flirt with close friends. Trying not to do that with your bestfriend is a really smart thing to do. I would think telling him that you love him as a brother is fine also, since that's truly how you feel.

How about letting him know casually about your feelings for Nic like, "I just wanted you to know, since you mean a lot to me... I really want to date Nic, he cares about me and I care about him also, in a really special way. I know that sometimes we all hang out together, and I hope that continues on cuz you're like a brother to me."

Whether it's a girl or a guy bestfriend, sometimes bestfriends act awkward after you start dating someone (especially if it's someone they know too) since they may feel left out, feel uncomfortable around you two, or might mistakingly think that they're no longer welcome around you guys. Remind him that things shouldnt change with you and him, that you still want to spend time with him, whether it is with Nic around or not.

I dont recommend having Nic tell your bestfriend for you. Imagine being in your bestfriend's shoes. If it was me, I would feel sad that you werent able to open up to me, and that I had to hear the news from him instead. It's still a sweet offer for Nic to make -I'm glad that you've found someone who really cares.

It seems like Nic is unsure if he really likes your bestfriend. If by any chance he starts saying he doesnt like him etc, ask him in what way he dislikes him. It may simply be that he feels insecure that you are so close to this guy. I admit, I myself felt insecure when my boyfriend told me that he had close girlfriends who are like sisters to him. In our case, my bf never left me out in conversations when his friends were there, and I in turn got to know the girls pretty well -eventually I didnt feel insecure anymore because I could see their friendships were platonic (and I also built more trust for my bf). In your case, perhaps Nic knows that your bestfriend has feelings for you and finds him slightly threatening? Again, just tell both guys your feelings for each of them and make matters really clear.

After reading your other threads and posts, you seem like a sweet, mature, responsible person. It makes me happy to see that you've found someone really special to you. It's really nice to hear that you're taking things slow and also that your boyfriend is willing to wait for you. Especially since I hear about so many girls who jump straight into having sexual relationships.
Take good care of yourself and good luck with talking to your bestfriend and Nic. :)





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