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Hi Jessy,

Honey, you are being way too hard on yourself!! If guys in the past have told you you're beautiful, then your looks are obviously good enough to attract guys. The problem is, even the most beautiful girl in the world is less attractive when she thinks she's ugly. Thinking you're attractive will give you a glow and a confidence when you move that guys find very hard to resist. Obviously this is all easier said than done, but confidence really makes all the difference.

First, you REALLY need to stop comparing yourself to other girls. You are who you are, you will never be them and they will never be you. There will always be girls who seem to have it all, but that doesn't mean you are ugly. After all, there are a few really hot guys, but that doesn't mean all the other guys should give up on themselves! Then, I would find your favorite picture of yourself to keep around when you start to get down on yourself. You might also want to make a list of all the positive things about yourself, like your eyes, legs, sense of humor, kindness, etc. Maybe a close friend or family member could help you brainstorm. I'm sure you have a lot to offer, so this shouldn't be too hard.

Make sure to look at these things when you start thinking negatively...also, everytime you get a negative thought about yourself stop and think, why am I being so hard on myself? You could also write these thoughts down, think about why each one is exaggerated, then tear up your list and instead read the list of things you like about yourself. It is so true that you can't expect others to love you until you love yourself, but luckily you still have lots of time to work on this. Remember that you're stuck with yourself for the rest of your life, and I'm sure you don't want to dislike yourself forever--so why not start working to accept and like yourself now?

I agree that you really need to stop the negative thinking, and try not to say negative things about yourself around others. Also, remember that you are not alone--almost all teenagers feel this way, and lots of girls are probably comparing themselves unfavorably to you just as you are feeling jealous of them. Also, maybe you should consider trying to make some changes to boost your self-image. You could try to do one nice thing for someone every day or volunteer. Remember that self-respect comes from the inside; this is the only way to learn to like your physical looks. Just try to work on your self-image one step at a time--you are a great person, and life is so much happier and easier when you come to realize this.





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