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I'm in a very pessimistic mood right now. Today was my friend's blockparty and it was me, her bf (who's real cool) and her. We invited my other friend who lives on the next block and she was with her new bf and my other friend. Well, when we were all walking together I had a sudden realization of how lonely I was. Normally this never happens, like I've never really felt upset over my friend's and their bf's. But today I was hit hard with it. They all have guys to call their own, guys to fall back on during hard times. I have nothing. I've had instances where I almost had a bf, but never really. I mean, I've never even hugged a guy, like really hugged a guy, and I'm a junior in highschool. Not that it matters but still. I'm not desperate my any means, I refuse to beg for a guy's attention. But it wouldn't hurt once in awhile. Let me tell you a little about myself first. I'm a very real person (I'd like to think so anyways). I listen and have been told that I give great advice. I like doing things out of the ordinary, being spontaneous and random. I may act like a total idiot at times but I'm pretty smart (A student). I'm open to try new things and well, just enjoy life. So what part of that is wrong? I'm not hideous by any means nor am I the most beautiful but still. I guess this rant is basically asking why I can't get a boyfriend? I never used to worry about it until my friends started getting their own and of course their attentions turned to their new hubbies. I really like this one guy right now but my chances with him are 0 in a million. I don't really talk to him but we do know each other and like I dunno. I plan to get to know him more and even get to talk to him regularly but I just don't seem to have the will power to do it anymore. I mean, what's the point to chase after a guy you know will ignore you or pity you for God knows what? I'm tired of being looked at as some sort of freak when I really look like every other girl you'd see. I'm tired of getting worked up for nothing. I'm tired of hearing how wonderful my friend's lives are now that so-and-so is in their life. All I have now is my mountain of homework and myself to fall back on. Try as I might I just can't seem to get the guys I want. It makes me sick really. I don't even know how one could reply to this rant, I'm just venting out. Thanks for listening.
Hi iblir,

I totally understand how you feel, and you should definitely vent all you want. I think Saka gave you good advice...it sounds like a cliche, but there really is a lot of truth in the statement that you only find what you're looking for when you stop looking so hard. You aren't missing out on much by avoiding high school relationships--most are pretty immature, end in heartbreak, and generate unfriendly gossip. Also, it's better to not be tied down to a HS relationship after you graduate and move on with your life. Too many HS couples try to make it through college, and unless they go to the same school, they hardly ever make it through freshman year together. They also waste the most fun year being sad and missing each other when they should be out making friends, meeting new people, and having fun.

Anyway, you seem like a wonderful and very smart girl. My advice is just enjoy HS, enjoy your friends and work hard so you will have your choice of colleges. Hoping for a bf won't make one come along any quicker, so you might as well focus on all the other stuff going on in your life. The more you enjoy yourself and the more different activities you're involved in, the better chance of meeting a guy anyway. Hang out with your single friends, and try to avoid spending too much time with your friends and their boyfriends if that makes you feel down. You have so much going for you, soon a great guy will come along and see that. Besides, you don't want a guy who's not crazy about you--it's better to wait for a quality guy to come along then go for any guy just to have a bf.

That said, you should pursue the guy you like. You really have nothing to lose--you don't have to throw yourself at him, just talk to him and be friendly. You'll be able to tell if he's interested, in which case you could ask him if he wants to hang out and do something low-key. I had a few serious bfs in high school, and I know it's fun to have someone to date and go to events with, but I also know a lot of great girls who waited until college for a bf and were not disappointed. In the long run, HS guys are immature and HS relationships are temporary. I hope you are feeling better--don't let this get you down, think of all the other girls and guys in the same boat. Eventually everyone finds the right person, and generally, the more patient you are and the busier you are with other things, the quicker this will happen to you!

Good luck,
Stacy


I'm in a very pessimistic mood right now. Today was my friend's blockparty and it was me, her bf (who's real cool) and her. We invited my other friend who lives on the next block and she was with her new bf and my other friend. Well, when we were all walking together I had a sudden realization of how lonely I was. Normally this never happens, like I've never really felt upset over my friend's and their bf's. But today I was hit hard with it. They all have guys to call their own, guys to fall back on during hard times. I have nothing. I've had instances where I almost had a bf, but never really. I mean, I've never even hugged a guy, like really hugged a guy, and I'm a junior in highschool. Not that it matters but still. I'm not desperate my any means, I refuse to beg for a guy's attention. But it wouldn't hurt once in awhile. Let me tell you a little about myself first. I'm a very real person (I'd like to think so anyways). I listen and have been told that I give great advice. I like doing things out of the ordinary, being spontaneous and random. I may act like a total idiot at times but I'm pretty smart (A student). I'm open to try new things and well, just enjoy life. So what part of that is wrong? I'm not hideous by any means nor am I the most beautiful but still. I guess this rant is basically asking why I can't get a boyfriend? I never used to worry about it until my friends started getting their own and of course their attentions turned to their new hubbies. I really like this one guy right now but my chances with him are 0 in a million. I don't really talk to him but we do know each other and like I dunno. I plan to get to know him more and even get to talk to him regularly but I just don't seem to have the will power to do it anymore. I mean, what's the point to chase after a guy you know will ignore you or pity you for God knows what? I'm tired of being looked at as some sort of freak when I really look like every other girl you'd see. I'm tired of getting worked up for nothing. I'm tired of hearing how wonderful my friend's lives are now that so-and-so is in their life. All I have now is my mountain of homework and myself to fall back on. Try as I might I just can't seem to get the guys I want. It makes me sick really. I don't even know how one could reply to this rant, I'm just venting out. Thanks for listening.





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