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My mother use to be a great mother. Everday of my childhood was a pretty good one. She made sure me, my sister, and my brother had everything we needed. When I was 10ish her and my daddy split up for good(they had split before) and immediatly after he left she started to change. She started going with this 20 something year old like 3 weeks later. Her whole attitude started to change. Then a couple of years after that She decided to move to Chicago. First she went, then when things settled, 8 months later me and my sister joined her. My sister hated it here and went back to St. Louis. So unfortunately it's just me and her. We have been here 3 years.
(Just a little history before I cut to the chase)

In the 3 years since we've been here she has turned into a monster. She is moody she has anger management issues. And the wierd thing is I'm the only one who sees this side of her. She puts on this big act in front of people and they think shes the nicest person in the world. :rolleyes: All she cares about now is her boyfriends. She will do litterally anything for them, and I do mean anything. Every boyfriend she gets ends up moving in with us, EVERYONE! I hate it! One of her boyfriends sexually harrassed me when I was 14. He didn't touch me or any thing but he looked at my breast and said "Those are nice, you don't mind that I noticed do you?" Then he did a nasty thing with his tongue. And I told her about it and she acted like it was no big deal. And she still talks to him to this day. She has a new 20 some odd year old boyfriend now. She hasn't known him for long and I haven't either. And the day before yesterday she left him alone with me while she went to work. He is 20 something years old, I am an attractive 16 year old, and there are alot of perverts out there, I feel like that was stupid and she really pissed me off. So I wrote her a letter letting her know how stupid I thought that was, and also how much she has changed, and so-on. Her response to the letter was "You can't run my life" in a nut shell. This upset me. The letter wasn't about her it was about me and the pain I've been feeling for so long. It was my way of expressing to her how I feel, since ever conversation we have leads to her cursing me out.

I've been exremely depressed for over a month now. I cry everyday, I don't eat right, I don't sleep much, and I feel lost. My mother is seeing me go through this and she doesn't care. She made me a doctors appointment(psyciatrist) over a month ago, when it was really bad.(depression) My appointment was for Sep. 7. She wouldn't even take off of work to take me! She thinks because I can manage to get up out of bed and smile once in a while that I'm okay. I'm not okay. I'm hurt inside, really hurt. But she doesn't care. I can't go on like this, depressed, living with someone who treats me like dirt. But I have no way out I can't move in with anyone else. I just don't know what to do. I have thought about killing myself, but thats no option. There are people who do love me, and I love myself. I want to live. But I cant go on living with my mother. She is a terrable person, she doesn't give a crap about me, and on top of that I'm sick(depressed).

I dont know what to do, I need advice. I really really need ALOT of advice.
Wow....it's like I am reading my whole life all over again. I really do feel your pain and confusion. I know what you are going through. All the stuff you are talking about I went through and am still going through with my mother. I am 22 and it took me this long to realize what I am about to tell you and I hope you will heed me advice. There is nothing you can do for her. She is set on this path of distruction. She will not change and it is most definitaly not your fault. Real families talk about there problems, real families work it out, real families when in counseling sessions tell truth without fear of reprocution. Be strong young one. I promise one day you will rise above this. I still struggle with some things cause in some ways I had a it a lot worse with the whole "moms new boyfriend thing" and I was younger when it happened to me. I am now 22 and divorced. I wanted out so badly that I made myself believe I was in love with someone that I wasn't just so I could get out. Please don't make that mistake. He turned out to be an awful person and treated me like crap. I went from abuse to abuse, from my mother to him. I am now on my own and happy, I am with someone I have known for 2 years and am crazy about. I know these feelings are real and I can trust them because I have been through the bad stuff and refuse to go back. What I am trying to say is you can let this affect you in 2 different ways.

1. you can either let it eat you alive and suffer for the rest of you life because of this awful life you were dealt. or

2. you can rise above it and become a stronger person in spite of it.

I definitaly recommend to second choice. Just keep remembering none of this is my fault, she's the crazy one not me, and the more she does this the stronger I want to become. Don't let it get you down girl, you have so much more of life ahead of you to let one person ruin it for you. I am always here to talk and listen.

Sunnie:)





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