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Board Index > Teen Health | 0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

{disclaimer: i registered just for this so i apologise if i offend the rules of the forum by discussing something off topic or whatever, just thought this guy should hear wat i have to say!}

hey man, i registered just to reply to you. feel special? ;) sure u do

ok heres the score, as far as i see it (and i have a bad habit of writing essay-length responses on forums, so bear with me;))

Im 18, nearly 19. Im an attractive guy (lets not beat around the bush yeh?), im......kinda fit, im losing it now cos i have a gf and im gettin lazy, but i mean when i dress myself up etc i look good). Ive had a gf for nearly 2 years....but i wont go into that.

Now, a year ago when i was just turning 18 (drinking age here) i went thru the same thing you are. The people i was mates with treated me like crap, it seemed to me. Theyd just do stupid two-faced stuff behind my back, you know? and it really got to me. i developed a real complex about myself, i had 0 self esteem.

One night they went to see a movie and had told me earlier they were all studying. i went to see a movie and when i came out they were all there buying tickets. I just snapped and things went downhill from there.

Move forward about 6 months, and i met 'x' whos now my best mate and super drinking buddy :) At first though, he treated me just like the other guys. Hed always be goin out with mates and just telling me he wasnt doing anything etc.

Then one day it just clicked in my head, and i realised... if you want to be taken seriously, if you want to be looked at as an attractive person or someone whos cool to hang around, it all comes down to being assertive and confident.

x has always been in the 'cool' group of people. Hes got it all, money, body, car, brains, career....blah blah one of those mates that really pisses you off!! because of this i ended up a 'sheep'. When we went out to pubs n stuff id always be the one buying the drinks, or being the designated driver, calling the cab, paying for the pool table, getting the food, holding the girls bags ET ****IN CETERA. But at the time i didnt even realise it. I was just doin it thinkin i was being a good mate.

I was, however, wrong.

One day it snapped and i decided it was time to be assertive. Now, we buy half the drinks each. We share the driving n stuff. He still asks me to do ****, but i just go nah man, its your round!! get off yer ***! And he does. And cos of that, he has a lot more respek for me now. Instead of going off with girls and leaving me sitting around, hes introducing me, playin doubles pool, having real discussions, giving me lifts not just when its a 4-5 person carpool situation. In other words its mutual. Neither one is following the other. Its all about the attitude. Dont hide. Dont give in to other ppl. NEVER, EVER SUCK UP TO SOMEONE THINKING THEY WILL LIKE YOU FOR IT!! All it accomplished was that he would just use me as a slave, and still didnt have any respect for its mutual, and its cool, you really do start to feel like your 'part of the group'.

After you get that, it just multiplies. Confidence leads to confidence, i find it so easy to make new friends now. Every time we go out im bumping into more and more people i know, simply because i know more people. DOnt be the one who stands back and waits to be introduced.

ACT LIKE YOUR KING ****. That is so important. It dont matter how ugly or uncool you think you are. Act like your better than anyone who talks **** about you. When your hanging out with friends, start making decisions. Make a point to step forward and introduce yourself to girls when your out, jump in and do it befor eyour friends do. If you show that you dont let any push u round, girls and your friends will pay you a lot more respect TRUST me.

Your friends dont seem malicious to me. They seem exactly like my old friends. They dont know wat theyr doing, theyr just concerned with their OWN image, not yours. At your age teenagers dont generally do things for their friends best interest, but for their own. If theyr talking to a girl and she says **** about you, your friend is likely to reply and agree with her as opposed to disagreeing and looking 'uncool' to her, u get me? so dont take that part too personally. But stand up to em too. Tell this mate that you found what he wrote, and its not cool. Talk to your friends. Make a decision in the group, and if they argue feel free to get pissed off. Have your way for once.

This all applies to mates and to girlies equally...


Take your best attribute and bring it to the table. I bet you any money there is something you do well, that you dont even recognise because of your situation. Same thing with me. Im an artist (i do graphics for skateboards and clothes shops etc).

I used to get **** for doing art. I chose it over phys. ed, and got totally dissed for it. Id be embarrassed to talk about it, id hide the fact that i did it....

But eventually i realised not to take the comments so seriously. They didnt really care if i did art or not. I started taking my sketchbook when they went skating and ****, id scribble graf and characters and crap, and once they actually started looking at it they really dug it... and paid me respect for it...

Just last night i went out with 'x' to a pub and he wore a shirt with graf and stuff all over it that i did and screenprinted for him. I was sitting there and a chick complemented him on his shirt. He just looked at me like "thanks dood, i owe you one!". Thats wat mateships about. Totally mutual and equal.

I really do hope u find happiness bro, u sound like a cool kid. Step up, make the effort and you will soon realise how easy it can be to change your life around.


There, how does that feel? Hard? yes.... like your on a ROLL??.....yes? like you want to keep doing this **** to improve your life?......most definately.

"Whether you think youll succeed or fail, either way your right..."

Take care mate....cheers

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