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Hey, I'm sure a lot of guys have my same problem, so hopefully this thread will help a lot of guys out. Here it goes - I am 18 and a senior in High School, but I have never had an intimiate relationship with a girl, in fact, I've never been kissed. Yeah, I know, it kinda crept up on me, I blame my friends. I've never been to a high school party, smoked (anything) or tasted alcohol because my friends are literally the only ones in the entire grade who don't do that stuff - like I said, it kinda crept up on me. ANYWAY (sigh), I'm trying to break out and experience life, but I need some help. Basically, how does a guy get noticed by girls. I've been trying to be more friendly,(saying hi to the popular girls I rarely talked to before), working out, paying more attention to my appearance, and trying to build up my confidence with girls.

However, I don't want to be viewed as the immature, nice, and shy guy. The guy no girl really pays attention to. Basically, how do I get girls to notice me without coming off as just a friendly, nice guy? I think having the guts just to go up and talk to girls will be appreciated, but I don't know how to act more appealing. I want girls to see me as more than just a chore to have to say hello to. These are girls that are just in my class, no one I really hang out with, so I'm just trying to be a smooth operator and get noticed, ya know?

Similarly, I like this girl who I've hardly ever talked to at all. To get to know her, do I just catch her in the hallway after class and start talking or is there a better way to go about it?

Also, if I'm trying to hit on a girl from a distance, is a 3-4 second stare wit a smile enough to let a girl know - hey I'm checking you out - or is that just creepy and rude?

I know this is confusing, but this can be like a general thread for all things of this nature, feel free to post whatever you think can help us out. I'll check back to see what you girls out there think and maybe I can get a little more specific.
[QUOTE=niceguy22]Hey, I'm sure a lot of guys have my same problem, so hopefully this thread will help a lot of guys out. Here it goes - I am 18 and a senior in High School, but I have never had an intimiate relationship with a girl, in fact, I've never been kissed. Yeah, I know, it kinda crept up on me, I blame my friends. I've never been to a high school party, smoked (anything) or tasted alcohol because my friends are literally the only ones in the entire grade who don't do that stuff - like I said, it kinda crept up on me. ANYWAY (sigh), I'm trying to break out and experience life, but I need some help. Basically, how does a guy get noticed by girls. I've been trying to be more friendly,(saying hi to the popular girls I rarely talked to before), working out, paying more attention to my appearance, and trying to build up my confidence with girls.

However, I don't want to be viewed as the immature, nice, and shy guy. The guy no girl really pays attention to. Basically, how do I get girls to notice me without coming off as just a friendly, nice guy? I think having the guts just to go up and talk to girls will be appreciated, but I don't know how to act more appealing. I want girls to see me as more than just a chore to have to say hello to. These are girls that are just in my class, no one I really hang out with, so I'm just trying to be a smooth operator and get noticed, ya know?

Similarly, I like this girl who I've hardly ever talked to at all. To get to know her, do I just catch her in the hallway after class and start talking or is there a better way to go about it?

Also, if I'm trying to hit on a girl from a distance, is a 3-4 second stare wit a smile enough to let a girl know - hey I'm checking you out - or is that just creepy and rude?

I know this is confusing, but this can be like a general thread for all things of this nature, feel free to post whatever you think can help us out. I'll check back to see what you girls out there think and maybe I can get a little more specific.[/QUOTE]

The most important part of attracting girls is to be quietly confident, but not arrogant or overly aggressive. I'm a bit older than you and have had lots of boyfriends, along with many guys that pursued me who I wasn't interested in. Your idea about striking up a conversation after class or in the hallway is a good one--remember that as a guy, sexist as it sounds, it's your responsibility to make the first move and let the girl know that you're into her. You won't get anywhere just looking at her if you don't make an effort to talk to her and demonstrate your interest. Not that it's bad to look at her--in fact, it's usually the first hint (from a girl's perspective) that a guy likes her, particularly if he smiles and then looks away when she catches his eye. You could also call her on the phone if you'd feel more comfortable with that than approaching her in person, assuming she knows you well enough not to think that's completely random or ask "who?" when you tell her who you are. Once you've made an effort to approach and chat with her a few times, she'll most likely realize you're interested in her, even if she continues to play it cool and not let on that she knows what you're up to. This is all part of the whole dating game stuff--for the most part, girls expect you to be self-assured and brave enough to pursue them. If you succeed in having a couple of conversations with her that seem to go well in terms of her being pleased to talk to you, then go ahead and ask her out. Don't wait too long or she'll start to question if you really like her and/or think you're not bold enough for her liking. I would also make an effort to start being more sociable in terms of going to parties and hanging out in groups outside school. You don't have to drink or anything if you don't want to, but this will definitely increase your chances of connecting with a girl. Don't think coming across as a "friendly, nice guy" is a bad thing--while some girls only like "bad boys" who cheat or hit them, the vast majority like sweet but confident guys who seem interested in them. Don't be afraid to approach girls and start up casual conversations--even if a girl isn't interested in you, at least you'll gain valuable experience and come across better to the next girl. Good luck!
I'm never on this particular board, but when I was scrolling through and saw this heading, I had to come in.
Let me start by saying that because this is an anonymous site, I can be totally honest without seeming arrogant and say that my whole life I was the pretty popular girl and always had guys liking me and always had a boyfriend. I remember in high school a guy that was completely "dorky" trying so hard to get noticed by my friends and I and even started calling us. This is NOT the way to go. I don't care if it's practice; you will look stupid and be made fun of behind your back. In retrospect, I feel horrible for that because I've realized why he was doing it.
My advice to you is this - even as the girl that was pretty, I can tell you as a young adult now (I'm 24) that your "status" means pretty close to nothing in the real world. You need to be who you ARE. Being genuine truly is the best way to find a girl that you will love. Scoring, getting drunk, smoking up, that seems so important in high school and especially college - trust me, I did all three. But looking back, if I had just been ME, someone who really didn't even believe those things were right, my path would have been smoother, I think.
You don't need to worry that you haven't kissed a girl yet. I know that has to be hard being that eveyone around you has. But catching up with those around you sincerely should not be a priority for you. You sound enthusiastic, kind and honest. There are plenty of girls out there (BELIEVE ME) that are looking for JUST that. That's who you are. There are TONS of girls who would be honored to be your real "first kiss". You have to be patient and please don't get caught up in the crap that seems so important right now. I dated most of my high school and college careers the guys that were always the best at everything - had the most parties, the best clothes, and the "hottest". But there is a down side to that. They all had tremendous pasts with many sexual partners, angry ex girlfriends and they weren't the most virtuous people. I was recently married. And you know who he is? He was the guy in high school who didn't drink until he was 21!!!! Never smoked a cigarette and NEVER done a drug. I realized what was important and now I have a long life of honesty and respect ahead of me. Be true to who you are and you will win in the end. I wish you the best! Sorry this was sooo long. :)
[QUOTE=Erind]A few tips:

---Do not talk to much. Talk when it is neccessary ( Talking is annoying, and you probably have some friend or know someone who just talks, and is very annoying. So keep you mouth shut.)

---Spend more money on your looks. ( hair, kicks, clothes, tanning, loose wight, gain muscle )

---Join athletic groups. ( soccer, football, basketball, baseball maybe, wrestling. ) Girls go for guys who are on sports teams.

---Try to stay away from your friends. By staying with your friends, "popular guys and girls" won't talk to you because its not just 1 nerd they need to talk to, its the whole group u hang out with. They loose points themselves and do not talk to you

---Use your skills to your advantage. ( if you are smart, offer help to others, if you are talented somehow, offer help to others )

---Quit Nerdy stuff. ( band, sheakspeare, theatre classes, drama, tv shyt, )

---Don't talk much with teachers. Dont be a suckup.

Hope these help. They do work, just be careful on what you do, you can over do them. Example: not talk too much? You can be heading for the quiet guy who NEVER talks. so watch what you do.


PS-As for not being laid, kissed, w/e. Keep it cool. I lost my v when i was 14, get laid every 2weeks or so. Girls love me. I do not feel any different than the other guys. ( virgins ). It is something people do not really care now.

Erind.[/QUOTE]


Um, no offense Erind, but I disagree with some of the things you've said. Maybe Shakespeare and whatnot is 'nerdy' in high school, but if you're into that, it would be completely uncool to quit it. Maybe he likes Shakespeare and is headed toward being a college English professor. What would bring him closer to that goal? Being on a football team?

I'm 25, and I must say I'm a hottie. I married a computer geek. He was never on a sports team. I'm glad, because I personally don't go for that type.

Let me tell you, the dumb jocks may get 'laid' in high school and college, but in the real world, it's the confident, smart guys that have all the fun. (And make all the money. And, girls like money, I won't lie.)

That said, it never hurts to take care of yourself, wear nice clothes, get lots of exercise and look good. Girls don't go for slobs either.

It makes me so sick to hear people tell young guys to lower their standards. High school is so silly.





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